Color Me Shipwrecked
by chill13
Summary: When Balki wins a cruise for himself and Larry, it seems like a great chance for relaxation and fun. But their pleasure trip becomes a fight for survival when a series of harrowing events brings them to a remote island far from help!
1. Two Tickets to Paradise

This story is set in the cannon of Season 2.

**1****. Two Tickets to Paradise**

Larry Appleton lounged comfortably on the couch, his stocking feet up on the coffee table. With the newspaper in one hand and a steaming cup of coffee in the other he was prepared to enjoy a relaxing weekend.

The apartment door abruptly flew open slamming against the wall with a loud 'bang'. Balki Bartokomous burst into the room like he had been shot from a cannon. "Cousin! Cousin!" With one leap he cleared the back of the couch and landed with a bounce on the cushions next to his roommate. "Guess what!"

Larry slowly lowered his newspaper with an irritated sigh. "Balki, I really wish you wouldn't jump on the furniture."

The immigrant paused for only a second, caught slightly off guard by his cousin's unexpected lack of enthusiasm. "A great thing happ--"

"It ruins the springs." The man from Chicago explained to his Myposian cousin for what seemed like the millionth time. "Do you want to sit on a lumpy couch?"

"Well, no. But I have to tell you--"

"Furniture costs money. And with our income we can't afford to buy a new one."

Balki bowed his head with a defeated sigh, despairing of ever getting to tell his cousin the exciting news. "I'm sorry."

"Now," Larry said, finished with his lecture. "What did you have to say?"

The man's enthusiasm instantly returned. "A week ago I was in the supermarket and they have a big table set up by the door with a sign that says 'You Can Win'. So I ask the man in the suit behind the table what kind of game this is. So he says that if I write my name and address on a piece of paper and put it in the little box that I could win something. So I sign us up!"

"_Us? _You gave out _my _name too?!"

"Yes I did. But--"

"_Balki._" Larry crossed his arms and with one withering look conveyed all the irritation and disapproval of an angry mother.

The Mypiot dipped his head slightly and looked up at his cousin. He knew exactly what was coming. "Is this where you talk down to me?"

Larry nodded. "Yes, yes it is." Then he abruptly returned to lecture mode. "I have forbid you to sign me up for things without my permission haven't I?"

"Well..."

Larry's tone became more insistent. "_Haven't_ I?"

"Yes, you have."

"If you give our address to every Tom, Dick or Harry who--"

"His name was Frank." Balki corrected.

"My point is; if you keep giving people our address we are going to be flooded with junk mail."

Balki's eyes widened slightly. "They will send us their garbage?"

Larry just stared at his cousin for a long moment. Balki's knack for confusing even the simplest concepts never ceased to amaze him. Sometimes it was just easier to agree than explain the error. "Yes, they will."

Balki's frown deepened for a second as if trying to figure out why anyone would do such a thing. Then he remembered the wonderful news. "Well _this_ sure ain't garbage, Buster Bunny!" Triumphantly he reached into his pocket and with a dramatic flourish whipped out an envelope.

"And what, may I ask, is that?" Larry was clearly unimpressed.

"We won!"

"Won what?"

"A cruise!"

"A cruise?" He snatched the envelope from his friend's hand and pulled out two tickets and a brochure.

"Yes. You know, a vacation on a boat."

"I know what a cruise is!"

"Well then why you ask?"

With one deep breath the irritation went away. "Well, congratulations, Balki!" He gave his Myposian friend a slap on the shoulder and handed him back the tickets. "I hope you have fun."

"Fun, ha! We're going to have a football!"

Larry shook his head, ignoring the slaughtered cliché. "Not _we_. Just you. I can't go."

Balki looked as though he'd been slapped. His voice turned pleading. "Of...of course you're coming. You are my cousin and my best friend."

The complete devastation in his friend's dark eyes made him feel like slime. "I can't go, Balki. I'm sorry. You'll have to find someone else."

"Why you don't want to go?"

"It's not that I don't _want_ to go with you. It's just that I get seasick. The last time I was on a boat I was so dizzy I could barely see straight, I threw up everything I had eaten for a week and I was so green it looked like my face was growing algae."

"You turn green?" For half a second Balki looked surprised. "What are you, the Hulk?" The startled expression immediately turned to a knee slapping silent laugh. Then his eyes and hands turned upward, imploring heaven. "Where do I come _up_ with them?" He quickly turned back to Larry. "But seriously, Cousin, there are medicine for this."

"And how do _you _know this?"

"I see it every time we go shopping. It's on the shelf right next to the antacid."

Larry nodded, in understanding.

"It will be fun." Balki assured as he held up the brochure. "We get to go to Florida, and the boat has a swimming pool and a night club and..."

"Besides," Larry interrupted again. "We used up all our vacation time on the ski trip. Twinkacetti will never give us the time off."

Balki's shoulders slumped. "I never thought of that."

Monday at the Ritz Discount...

Larry stood at the counter, taking inventory while Balki folded sweaters on a nearby table.

"Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty Bajoran noses." Larry wrote the number down on a yellow notepad.

Balki's dark eyebrows furrowed slightly in thought. He stopped folding and stepped over to the counter. "But what if he _does_ give us the time off?" He asked, continuing the argument that had been running off and on all morning.

"I told you before, he's not going to." Larry said as he continued counting. "Seventeen, eighteen..."

"Maybe if we ask very nicely."

Trying desperately not to lose count Larry countered. "He won't...twenty...care how you...twenty one...ask...twenty two...The answer...twenty three...will still be...twenty four...'no'." He picked up the pen and pad again. "Twenty four bags of marbles."

"We could appeal to his heart and..."

"Twinkacetti doesn't have a heart." Larry insisted, finishing his writing and setting the pen back on the counter. "He traded it for that ice cube he has beating in his chest."

Balki frowned, not about to give up. "But...but if he did let us go would you come on the cruise?"

Larry let out a long exasperated sigh. "Yes." He said, finally giving in, in his desperation to end the long tiresome conversation. "Yes, if Twinkie gives us a week off I'll go on the cruise with you." He looked pointedly at his cousin. "Happy now?"

A large smile broke across the Mypiot's face. "Yes, very."

A bell sounded as the front door opened. A short, stocky, weasel of a man stepped in and placed his fedora on the hat rack.

"Mr. Twinkacetti!" Balki cried enthusiastically. "How you doing today?"

"My life is none of your business, Turnip." He snapped as he stalked toward the back of the store to his office.

"Oh, okay." Balki followed him brightly across the room, seemingly oblivious to his boss's obvious irritation at the immigrant's mere presence. "But Cousin Larry and I have a question to ask."

Larry rolled his eyes from where he still stood at the counter. "Here it comes." He mumbled to himself.

Mr. Twinkacetti opened the door to his office and turned to Balki. "You want to ask me a question?"

Balki nodded. "Yes."

"Let me think about it." An expression of exaggerated concentration pinched his face for perhaps half a second then turned pointedly to Balki and said; "No!" With that he slammed the office door, nearly taking Balki's oversized nose off.

"But you don't even hear what I ask!" The Mypiot insisted to the closed door, which remained smugly silent. Balki turned away and walked dejectedly to the counter where Larry gave him a look that plainly said 'I told you so'.

"You were right." Balki said, his whole demeanor a picture of disappointment. "I guess we're not going to cruise after all."

Before Larry could respond the office door opened and Mr. Twinkacetti poked his head out. "Oh, by the way. The store's gonna be closed next week so don't bother coming in."

"What?" Larry looked completely taken aback by the unexpected turn of events. "Why?"

"I'm going somewhere for a week. I...uh...gotta see a man about a dog." Was his cryptic explanation.

"You're getting a dog?" Balki clapped his hands excitedly. "I am so happy for you! What you going to name it?"

"But we could watch the store while you're gone." Larry offered, knowing that if he didn't think of something fast he was going to be stuck on a boat for a week. "I mean why close and loose money, right?"

"You think I'm going to trust my hard earned cash unsupervised in the hands of you two yo-yo's? HA!" Was his only reply as he reentered his office, once again, slamming the door behind him.

"You hear that, Cousin?" Balki said, bubbling over with enthusiasm. "We have next week off. We are going on a cruise!!"

Larry's stomach lurched as he imagined the ocean and the waves and the rocking and somewhere in the back of his head he could hear Balki burst into song.

"Oohhee, oohee, baby! Ooheee, oohee, baby! Oooeee, oooeee, baby! Woncha let me take you on a sea cruise! Feel like jumpi'n, baby won't you join me please..."

One week later...

"Come on, Cousin!" Balki urged, standing in front of the apartment door with a thin walking cane slung over his shoulder. Around the end was tied a cloth bag. The contraption looked like something a hobo would carry. "You have been checking and rechecking all morning. We going to miss the plane."

"I'm coming. Don't rush me." Larry stood in beside a pile of suitcases and traveling bags holding a clipboard and frowning in concentration. He looked up at Balki indecisively. "Do you think I packed enough underwear?"

"You have packaged everything but the bedroom sink!"

Larry glanced curiously at Balki's bag-on-a-stick. "Is that all you're bringing?" He asked incredulously.

"I got my toothbrush, a razor, a comb (pronouncing the 'B'), my swim trucks and an extra set of clothes and Dimitri. What else do I need?"

Larry looked down at his own pile of luggage for a moment. Then, dismissing the question altogether he returned to his checklist. "Ookay. Stove's off. Check. Gas is off. Check."

"Everything is off." Balki insisted. "Now _we _need to be off. Look at the time it is." Balki pointed at the clock but Larry was too absorbed in his checklist to notice. "Cousin, LOOK!" Grabbing him by both temples he turned Larry's head toward the clock.

"Oh, my lord! It's time to leave already!"

"You're so observant." Balki said flippantly as he helped his cousin gather his bags before rushing out the door.


	2. Memories

**2. Memories**

Larry paid the taxi driver and watched as the tiny car zoomed out of sight. He popped another motion sickness pill into his mouth before picking up his bags. He turned to his cousin who was watching a pelican glide through the clear blue sky. Larry couldn't hold back a disgusted grimace at Balki's attire. He sported purple suspenders over a Hawaiian shirt that looked as if a box of crayons exploded in a florist shop, his blue Levis were cut off just below the knee and frayed at the edges, a pair of brown sandals were held in place by leather laces, dark sunglasses sat on his oversized nose and a large brimmed, grass weaved hat completed the ensemble. "I can not _believe_ you bought that outfit."

"I don't want to look like a tourist."

"You look like a refugee from Gilligan's Island."

Balki's eyebrows dipped below the sunglasses in what Larry guessed was a contemplative frown. He looked down at his apparel and then back at Larry. "I don't think so. You see Gilligan always wore a red shirt with bellbottoms and a white hat, and the Skipper wore a blue..."

"Never mind!" Larry interrupted before Balki got into a detailed description of every castaway's clothing. "Forget I said anything."

"You know one thing I've always wondered?" Balki said as he helped Larry with his luggage and they started down the long pier "How come Gilligan, the Skipper and the Professor wear the same thing every day and the Howells have a new outfit every episode?"

"It's a mystery that must be accepted by faith." Larry grumbled, not wanting to go any further with such a pointless discussion.

Balki turned to him with a slight cock of his head. "I didn't know you were Catholic."

Larry groaned and rolled his eyes heavenward.

"There it is!" Balki said as they approached the large white cruise ship. "Oh, Cousin. Look at it. Isn't it beautiful?"

Larry paused for a moment to adjust the strap on one of his bags. He looked up at the ship, shuddering slightly at the memory of what was, in his opinion, the worst vacation in Appleton history.

He had been sixteen that fateful summer when his father decided it was time to subject his nine children to the horrors of ocean fishing. So the entire Appleton family squeezed into their ridiculously inadequate station wagon, along with eleven suitcases and Dad's entire arsenal of fishing equipment. Larry sat, as always, in the center of the back seat. The fishing poles jutted from the back to arc over his head, creating bars to the moving prison. Being sandwiched between Danny and Elaine there was no end to the torture. His youngest sister quickly bored of the car ride and all that youthful energy had to go somewhere so she was moving constantly, kicking the seat in front of her, playing with her seat belt, playing with _his_ seatbelt, playing with the windows and worst of all, pulling his curly hair. Elaine, being the little girl she was was simply hyper. Danny, on the other hand, seemed to enjoy pestering Larry. When he wasn't kicking him he was deliberately elbowing him in the ribs or pushing him into Elaine when they turned a corner. It felt like he was either defending himself or scolding Elaine the entire trip.

"Elaine, leave you seatbelt on." "Danny, knock it off!" "No. Don't stick your head out the window." "Ow! _Mom_, Danny won't quit kicking me!" "Elaine, that's my hair. Give it back." "DANNY!"

About that time Dad would yell something like: "Don't make me come back there!"

Then, of course, Billy would turn around to face him. "Quit makin' such a fuss, Larry. You know, _some_ of us would like to enjoy the ride without you whining back there the whole time."

The car trip had been bad in itself but the real nightmare didn't start until they reached the coast. The next morning after they had settled into the hotel Dad woke them all up before dawn. "That's when the fish are biting." He had insisted. Mom got to stay at the hotel and have some precious alone time while Dad dragged nine children, all weighed down with rods and tackle, to a dimly lit pier that reeked of rotten fish. He hired a small fishing boat and a captain that spoke very little English. The very second Larry set foot on the deck of the gently rocking boat he knew he was in trouble. He ignored the queasy feeling in his stomach as they untied the tiny ship and set out toward the horizon. He was determined to catch a fish that his Dad would be proud of, then, just maybe, he could earn a 'well done son'. But as they navigated into deeper waters the waves became larger, rolling like giant hills and his stomach couldn't take it any longer. He dropped his pole onto the deck, ran to the railing and threw up.

"Are you sick?" He leaned heavily on the rail and looked down to see little Elaine's wide eyes staring worriedly up at him. He wiped the corner of his mouth and shook his head.

"I'm fine. I just..." Another wave hit the ship and the deck bucked along with his stomach.

"You're face is a funny color. I'm gonna get Daddy."

"No wait!" But it was too late she was already out of reach. Larry groaned and laid his head on his arms. _Why does everything always happen to me?_

"Can't handle a little boat ride, eh, little brother?"

Larry turned to glare icily at Billy's smug face. If his stomach hadn't felt like a washing machine and his head wasn't spinning like a top he would have replied to his brother's verbal jab with a physical one and knocked him right in his all-to-perfect teeth. Not that it would have done any good. If there was a fight Billy would have won. Billy always won. So he settled with, "Shut up, Billy."

"I always wondered why Mom never held you in the rocking chair." He tussled Larry's hair then gave his head a slight shove. "Now I know why." He walked away laughing.

"Lawrence!"

Larry winced at his father's voice. Dad strode toward him with little Elaine pulling him forward by the hand. Danny and Erica were following behind. _Great. Just what I need, more humiliation._

His Father approached and put a hand on Larry's back. "Elaine tells me you're not feeling well."

Larry looked up and gave his Dad the sincerest smile he could muster. "I'm fine, really." He forced himself to stand up straight, but kept one hand on the rail for support. "Just a little nauseous." He gave a small shrug. "That's all." Just then the deck heaved beneath his feet and his stomach reversed gears. He turned quickly and bent over the banister again.

"Looks like you got a touch of seasickness, Son." Walter Appleton said with more amusement than sympathy.

"I guess so." Larry hung his head and not just because he felt sick. "I'm sorry, Dad."

"Nothing to be ashamed of, Lawrence." His Dad said, off-handedly. "You just take after your mother's side of the family."

Elaine looked up at her father. "Maybe we should take Noogie home."

"What!?" Danny spoke up from behind. "And have to go all the way back to the hotel? Daaad, he's gonna ruin the whole trip!"

"I think we should go back." Erica said in her Valley Girl squeak. "I mean look at him. He's...green."

Danny gave his sister a hard shove. "You just want to go back so you don't have to touch any slimy fish."

"That has nothing to do with it!" She insisted vehemently. "Can't a girl be concerned about her brother?" After a long pause she said; "Besides, they're wet and slimy and they're, like...yeech!"

"That's okay." Larry said weakly, trying to sound brave. "I'll be alright. You guys have fun." He prayed that Dad would insist they go back.

"That's the spirit, Lawrence!" Walter gave his son a hearty slap on the back. "Motion sickness is nothing serious. Tribulation builds character. Besides, I paid good money for this fishing trip and I have a feeling the Captain won't give us a refund."

"Daaad!" Davy's piercing eight-year-old voice tore through the air like a siren. "I can't tie this!"

Walter gave Larry one more gentle pat before turning and heading to the aid of his younger son. "David, that's the wrong lure. You've got to use..."

Larry wasn't sure how long he had stood there, staring straight down into the murky water, feeling his stomach heave with every movement, before a gentle hand rested on his shoulder. He looked up weakly to stare into the dark eyes of their captain. The man wore a grubby baseball cap over his coal black hair and a thin moustache sat on his upper lip. His dark skin was weathered and wrinkled. The man gave Larry a sympathetic smile. The corner of Larry's mouth twitched but he couldn't muster a smile in return.

The man spoke softly to him in a language Larry didn't understand. He ventured to guess it might have been Spanish but he couldn't be sure. Larry shrugged and shook his head indicating he didn't understand. The Captain sighed as if he should have known. Then he pointed out to sea. Larry glanced in the direction he was pointing but didn't see anything but water. He turned back to the Captain and shrugged. The Captain then took his fore and middle fingers, pointed at his own eyes then to the same place he had indicated before. Then he pointed to Larry's eyes then out to sea. Larry looked again but still didn't see anything of significance and this little game was beginning to get tiresome. He didn't feel like sightseeing anyway. So he slouched back into his former position and once again stared down at the ripples around the boat, hoping that if he ignored the Captain long enough the man would go away and let him suffer in solitude. With a small grunt of frustration the Captain grabbed Larry by the chin, startling him out of his wits, and held his head up so he was staring straight ahead. He pointed emphatically. Larry's eyes finally fell on the horizon, and instantly his mind locked on that stationary line, the only stable thing in this rolling world. His stomach eased slightly. He wasn't cured but it certainly helped. Larry looked up at the Captain and gave him a weak smile. "Thanks." The older man offered Larry a big toothy grin and patted him on the head before returning to the bridge.

Larry spent nearly the whole three hours on the boat hanging over the rail and throwing up. Watching the horizon helped but it didn't make the misery go away. So he just stood there watching his brothers and sisters have the time of their lives. Everybody caught at least one fish. All except Larry, of course. He watched as little Elaine caught the biggest fish he had ever seen, and of course Billy caught the most.

That was definitely the worst vacation of his life. And as he looked up at the cruise ship he couldn't help but shudder. Sure the large, clean, white cruise ship looked nothing like the tiny rust bucket he had been on so many years ago but it was still a boat and they were still headed out to sea.

"Cousin? Are you coming?"

Larry started slightly at the sound of Balki's voice. His cousin was standing on the ramp leading up into the ship. "Yeah. I'm coming." As he started up the ramp he prayed the motion sickness pills worked and he wouldn't have to relive that trip.


	3. Departing is Such Sweet Sorrow

**3. Departing is Such Sweet Sorrow**

"Wwwoww!" Balki exclaimed as they stepped into their cabin. The room wasn't very large but it was like stepping into an island itself. The carpet was gold patterned, simulating a sandy beach. The wallpaper was a light green palm frond pattern that complemented the darker, more jungle feel of the two bedspreads. A large dresser made from a rich, dark wood stood against one wall. "Cousin, look this!" He ran a hand over the drawers where ornately carved animals and birds played across the wood.

Larry gratefully dropped his bags on the floor and flopped down on the nearest bed. He was exhausted. The plane ride had been hectic. Balki was so excited to be on his first airplane he couldn't sit still and wouldn't shut up. Larry had been afraid the other passengers, deprived of the quiet they deserved, would form a mob and throw Balki out the nearest airlock. But, as it was, they only received a few empty threats of bodily harm and a warning from the flight attendant. They'd had to change planes twice and both times had been complete chaos. When they finally reached Miami they had to take a smelly, crowded bus thirty miles to the quaint little harbor town from which the cruise was to embark. Balki had insisted on checking out a little souvenir shop next to the bus station where he had chatted with the owner for at least half an hour and bought that ridiculous outfit. Then they had taken a taxi driven by the 'Little Old Lady From Pasadena' to the pier. All he wanted to do now was find the hot tub and stay there until he was as wrinkled as his great grandmother. But that would require that he get up, change and walk_ to_ the hot tub. At the moment that seemed like a mighty monumental task.

Balki picked up a piece of paper from the nightstand that sat between the two beds. It was folded accordion style and about the size of a brochure. "Look, a map of the ship!"

"Fascinating." Larry mumbled indifferently.

"That open hallway just outside is called a breezeway." Balki said, studying the paper closely.

"Mm." Larry said by way of reply. He closed his eyes and tried his best to ignore his cousin's excited chatter. The bed was so soft and he was so tired he could have fallen asleep right then and there if Balki hadn't been talking a mile a minute.

"We should explore the ship." Balki suggested as he began to unpack his bag. He pulled Dimitri out first, giving the stuffed sheep a pat on the head before carefully setting it on his pillow.

"You do that." Maybe if Balki went off to check out the ship he could get in a good nap.

"Come on, let's go!" Balki grabbed him by the arm and jerked him roughly to his feet.

"Balki!" He shouted sharply, twisting from his cousin's grasp. Quickly lowering his voice he continued. "I'm very tired. I have jetlag and the adrenaline rush from the taxi ride is long gone. I really don't feel like wandering around the ship right now. I want to rest."

"Oh." Balki lowered his head a bit, obviously disappointed.

"Maybe later." Larry said as he sat back down on the bed.

Balki plopped onto the bed beside his cousin. "There are a lot of good places to rest here. Listen to what it says." He held up the brochure and began to read slowly and haltingly, his thick accent making the words completely indistinguishable.

Larry gave a frustrated grunt and snatched the paper away from Balki.

The Mypiot looked slightly indignant for a second then simply tapped the page where he wanted Larry to begin reading.

" 'If relaxation is what you want try our spa where we have a messages, a steam room and a ten person hot tub.' Hmm. That does sound nice."

"Sure it does. Now, why you don't go down there to the bra…"

"Spa!" Larry nearly shouted, embarrassed by Balki's mispronunciation. "That word is '_Spa'!_"

Balki winced slightly at the severity of his cousin's tone, then continued as if nothing had happened. "We could go there and relax for awhile. Then maybe you feel like exploring the ship with me."

Larry nodded slowly. He rose from the bed, rummaged around in one of his many suitcases for a moment then pulled out at towel and his swimsuit. "Aren't you going to get yours?" Larry asked, noting his cousin's empty hands. "They won't let you in the hot tub wearing that."

"I'm already wearing my swim trunks." Balki hiked up is pants and gave his cousin a smug smile.

"Alright," He said with a resigned sigh. "Let's go."

They stepped out the door and onto the deck outside. It was fairly busy, with people bustling back and forth, finding their rooms or simply checking out the ship.

"I like these little boats." Balki said, tapping one of the lifeboats as they walked by. "They remind me of fishing with my uncle Philo. Maybe I take you out in one and we can catch some fish."

Larry shook his head. "Those aren't for us to play with. They're lifeboats in case the ship sinks. You just untie this knot here and down she goes."

"Why they have this white cloth on them?"

"That's canvas. And it's probably to keep water out of the boat when it rains."

-

"It's warm in here." Balki commented as they stepped out of the locker room and into the spa.

Larry had changed into his swimsuit but for whatever reason Balki had yet to remove his clothes.

"It's supposed to be." Larry said as he crossed the relatively empty health room toward the hot tub. He was pleased when he found it unoccupied. Everyone else must still be getting settled he reasoned as he set his towel on a nearby table.

"Well, hit me with a stick and call me a pina colada!" Balki exclaimed as he caught sight of the hot tub.

Larry stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out which word he could have possibly confused this time. "I think you mean piñata." He said finally.

Balki leaned over the edge and peered into the steaming bubbles. "They've got hot springs here, just like on Mypos! You know, this is the best way to cook duck. See, you take a whole bird and just toss it in and then you add…"

Ignoring Balki's chatter Larry stepped over to the pool. He smiled in anticipation as he began to lower himself into the steaming water. But before he could so much as get a foot wet, Balki's terrified shout echoed through the room.

"Cousin, stop!"

He felt Balki's strong hands around his shoulders as he was jerked roughly backwards. After barely catching his footing he shrugged out of his cousin's grasp and whirled around to face him. "What are you doing?!" He nearly shouted.

"That's what I was going to ask you. Are you off your rocking horse?" Balki threw a hand toward the bubbling hot tub. "You want to be boiled to death?! I've seen it happen and believe me it's not a fun way to go."

"Balki," Larry put a hand to his head and let out a weary sigh. "This is a hot tub. Not a hot spring. It's not the same thing. People sit in this to relax. That's what it's for." With that he turned abruptly stepped down into the water.

Balki gasped slightly and for a second looked as if he would try and rescue his cousin again. But as he saw the contentment on Larry's face as he settled into the steaming water he realized that there was no real danger. "But it's boiling." Balki said with a frown as he got to his knees and touched his fingertips to the bubbling liquid. "It should be hotter than this."

"It's not boiling." Larry explained, his eyes closed, trying not to let Balki's questions ruin the comfort of the moment. "The bubbles come from jets."

Balki's face scrunched in confusion. "Airplanes?"

Larry's eyebrows came together in a frustrated frown. He just couldn't win. Opening his eyes and sitting up straight he was about to tell his cousin to get in and shut up or go away when a chipper male voice rang over the loud speaker.

"Hey, there! This is your captain speaking. All aboard that's commin' aboard. We'll be leaving port and heading out into the deep blue in ten minutes. I'll say it again, we're leaving in ten minutes."

"We're leaving!" Balki exclaimed exuberantly.

"Yep." Larry said, relieved at the subject change.

"Come on, Cousin. We've got to wave goodbye to America." Balki reached down into the water, grabbed his cousin's hand and started for the locker room.

Larry would have been yanked right out of the pool if he hadn't twisted out of Balki's grip, which sent the Mypiot tumbling forward. Larry crossed his arms resolutely. "Balki, I'm happy right here. I don't want to wave goodbye to America. It'll still be there when we get back. If you want to go, fine." He waved a hand, shooing his cousin away. Maybe with Balki gone he could finally relax.

"B…but I want you come with me."

"I don't want to. I just got comfortable."

Balki's eye's widened like a begging puppy dogs. "Please?"

"Balki, no."

"I want you come with me!" He said with a pouting sob and dropped his head into his hands.

Larry rolled his eyes. Could his cousin possibly get any more childish? "Alright. _Alright_. I'll come with you."

Balki instantly recovered, brought his head up and smiled in satisfaction.

Larry reluctantly climbed out of the comforting warmth and grabbed his towel and headed for the locker room.

The deck was crowded. People leaned over the banisters shouting and waving to family and friends on the docks below. Balki rushed up to the railing, Larry trailing grudgingly behind. The immigrant was literally bouncing with excitement. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Cousin, smell it! Do you know what that is?"

"The cannery across the street?" Larry queried dryly.

"It's adventure!" Balki's arms flew wide, nearly hitting a woman standing near him. He grabbed his cousin around the shoulders and gestured to the watery horizon. "We're going out on the high seas! Can you believe it!"

"Yeah, I just hope those pills keep working."

"Well, of course they will, don' be ridiculous."

Just then the ship lurched slightly beneath their feet and began heading smoothly out to sea. The other people on the deck began cheering and waved with renewed vigor.

"We're leaving!" Balki shouted, not even trying to contain his excitement. "We're going on a cruise!" With a celebratory clap he spread his arms wide. "Now we are so happy we do the Dance of Joy!"

Balki's enthusiasm finally rubbing off, Larry jumped in and joined his cousin in the exuberant Myposian jig. The lively two-step ended with Larry leaping into Balki's arms. The crowd around them exploded with energetic applause.

Larry smiled sheepishly as Balki set him down on the deck.

"This is going to be so much fun." Balki said, turning back to the railing and looking out toward the clear blue sea.

"You're acting like you've never been on the ocean before." Larry commented, leaning slightly on the banister. "Didn't you come to America by boat."

"Yes, but it wasn't as beautiful a boat as this and…and this time I'm with my best friend."

Larry couldn't help but smile at that. He reached up and put an arm around his cousin's shoulders and watched the small harbor shrink as they sailed away.

"You know…" Balki remarked, still staring out to sea. "The last time I was on a boat was nearly two years ago, when I first come to America on the tram steamer. I remember coming into the New York harbor and seeing the Statue of Liberty for the very first time."

Larry smiled at the contented reminiscence on his friend's face.

Balki chuckled softly before continuing. "I remember asking myself 'why she is green'."


	4. Pools and Proverbs

**4. Pools and Proverbs**

Larry lounged comfortably in the deck chair beside the pool getting that Baywatch tan he had always wanted. A cool tropical drink, complete with little umbrella, sat at his fingertips. His bare foot nodded vaguely to the rhythm of the live steel drum band. His motion sickness was nearly nonexistent thanks to the pills he was taking, allowing him to enjoy the luxury of doing absolutely nothing. He was glad that Balki had insisted on the trip and made a mental note to thank him.

"Hey, mom. Watch this!" Shouted a boy on the diving board.

"I'm watching!" The woman in the chair beside Larry called back without taking her eyes off the magazine she was reading.

Larry watched indifferently as the kid did a cannonball. He turned to the woman. "Yours?" He asked, motioning toward the pool.

She nodded wearily. "Yep."

"How old?"

"Ten."

"He's brave for ten." Larry said, obviously impressed. "Not many ten-year-olds have the courage to take on the diving board. Well, I didn't anyway."

She finally took her eyes off her magazine to give him a strange look.

"Hey, Cousin!"

Larry looked up to see Balki standing on the edge of the diving board in what he could only guess was Myposian swim trunks. They were black with a colorfully embroidered belt and a gold fringe on the hem of the pant legs.

"Watch this! Are you watching?"

Larry shrank slightly in his chair. Why did he feel that everyone's eyes were on him instead of Balki? "Yes, yes I'm watching."

Balki let out a trilling whoop as he made a running leap off the board and spun in the air like a twirling ice skater before splashing into the water.

The woman turned wryly to Larry and inclined her head toward the pool. "Yours?"

Larry rolled his eyes. "Yeah."

"How old?"

"Twenty three going on eight."

She shook her head and chuckled before returning her attention to the magazine.

Balki broke the surface, swam over and rested his arms on the edge of the pool. "Come on in, Cousin. The water's swell!"

"No, thank you, Balki. I'm perfectly content right where I am."

"But I think you'd have fun."

"No."

"But--"

"_No_!"

"Alright. If you want to be a dry blanket, suit yourself." With that Balki swam off, obviously a little hurt.

Larry took another leisurely sip from his drink as he watched his cousin make friends, mostly with the children. Pretty soon he had every young person in the pool, from six-year-olds in water wings to teens, (not to mention a couple of lighthearted adults) caught up in what appeared to be Marco Polo. After the game had went on for about ten minutes Balki emerged from the pool and hurried over to Larry.

"Cousin, come play." He was dripping all over the deck and grinning from ear to ear. "Everyone's having the time of their lives!" He grabbed Larry's hand and tried to pull him out of the chair.

Larry jerked his hand away. "I don't want to play. Besides, I'm no good at Marco Polo."

His mouth and eyebrows twitched slightly in confusion. "It's got nothing to do with an expedition to China. We're playing Ponki Donki Chikino Bambino."

Larry raised an eyebrow. "You taught all these people a Myposian game?"

"Yes, and they're all having fun." He motioned to the lively game that was still in progress. "Now, you can't be having fun just sitting there. Come and join us." He moved to grab his cousin's hand again but Larry pulled it away.

"Balki, I'm not playing."

"Oh, come on. You'll enjoy it"

"I'm enjoying myself right here."

"Why you wearing swimming trunks for if you're not going to swim?"

"I'm getting a tan, okay?"

"Come on. You'll have a good time."

"No I won't."

"Can you swim?"

"Well, yes, but--"

"Then you'll like it." He grabbed Larry by both ankles and tried to pull him out of his chair, but Larry held on to the armrests and wouldn't budge. "Don't make me do this the hard way." Balki warned, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

By this time it seemed everyone on deck was watching this interaction. "Balki, you're making a scene. Stop it!"

"Okay, Cousin. You asked for it." With that Balki simply lifted him out of the lounge chair and walked to the edge of the pool.

"Balki, don't do this. Put me DOWN!"

"Are you _sure_ you want me to put you down?"

"Yes!" His eyes widened with sudden realization. "No wait!!" He could hear the whole crowd cheer as he hit the water.

He broke the surface coughing and sputtering. He pushed his wet hair out of his eyes to see Balki treading water beside him, smiling smugly.

"You should have seen your face when you hit the water. You look like a deer with head lice!"

"Head _lights_! Head _lights_! Deer in the head _lights_!" He stabbed a finger, shaking with pent up anger, at Balki's nose. "If there weren't children in this pool I'd drown you right now!" Turning abruptly he swam to the nearest ladder and climbed out. He could feel a hundred eyes boring into him. _Everyone_ was watching. His cheeks felt warm and he knew he was blushing. He tried to avoid eye contact with anyone as he stormed across the deck toward the locker room.

"Cousin, wait!" Balki shouted, emerging from the pool and sprinting across the deck after his friend.

"No running!" The lifeguard shouted at him.

He slowed his pace to a hurried walk. By the time he reached the locker room Larry already had his pants on.

"Cousin, what's wrong?" Balki asked, water still running off him to make a pool on the floor.

Larry held up a hand. "Balki, I am _not_ talking to you."

"Why?" He threw both hands out beseechingly. "What I did?"

" 'What you did'?" Larry asked in angry disbelief, mocking his cousin's errant grammar. " 'What you _did_'? You just humiliated me in front of at least fifty people! _Everyone_ was laughing at me!"

"I…I'm sorry, Cousin." Balki said, his eyes squinting in penitence. "I don't mean to embarrass you. I just want you to have a little fun."

"Yeah, well, getting laughed at is _not_ my idea of fun." He snapped back. After fastening the last button on his shirt he snatched his towel off the bench and started out the door.

Balki followed closely, trying desperately to meet his cousin's eyes. "Please…please don't be angry with me. I won't do it again."

Larry slowed to a stop, blew out a half sigh, half groan. Balki's kindheartedness and sincere humility made it difficult to stay mad at him for long. "Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you. It's just…it's just." He brought a hand up to wipe the side of his face. "It was the sixth grade all over again!"

Balki nodded knowingly. "This is another one of those childhood traumas, hoh?"

"It happened at Susie Swenson' s pool party." He was so irritated at the memory that he fairly spat his 'p's. "She was the most popular girl in school and the only reason I was invited is because I was the brother of the Great Billy Appleton. I was terrified of the diving board and everybody knew it. I was sick and tired of being teased about it so I finally mustered up the courage to try. I dove straight down, head first. When I came up I was so proud of myself. I just couldn't believe I'd done it. And then…" He paused a moment to undo his top collar button, obviously stalling.

Balki simply waited patiently.

Larry took a deep preparatory breath. "…And then I realized I'd lost my shorts. That's when the laughing and pointing began, but it didn't end there. Even after I graduated high school random people would come up to me and say 'hey, remember the pool party'. Ever since then I've had…trouble getting up in front of people.

"Well, Cousin—" Balki began but was interrupted as Larry continued.

"…and swimming pools."

Balki nodded and tried again. "As I was going to say—"

"…and jeering crowds."

The Mypiot looked at his cousin, a bit of impatience showing. "Are you finished?"

Larry nodded solemnly. "Yes."

Balki put a wet but comforting arm around his friend's shoulders. "Cousin, you've got to let these things go. On Mypos we have a saying…"

Larry warily raised an eyebrow. He never was too enthusiastic about Balki's Myposian sayings, generally because they required some sort of change on his part.

" 'Ohdriko banzi lavi izo biki fiki dang dang babasticki.'" He paused for a moment to let that sink in before he continued. "It says: 'If you keep your pockets full of babasticki there will be no room left for seashells.' Do you know what that means?"

Larry gave his cousin a long blank stare. "No."

"It means if all you think about is the bad things in life you'll never be able to have fun."

There was a lot of truth in that statement and Larry knew it. "You're right. But I've always had trouble…letting go."

"How 'bout I help you?" Balki offered with a reassuring smile. "We forget all about Susie Derkins and her pajama party and go have a nice lunch. I hear the restaurant have a live band. It's a good thing too, 'cuz dead people can't play." He instantly broke up with laughter, banging his fist on a nearby locker. "Where do I come _up_ with them?"

"I often wonder that myself." Larry answered with a hint of a smile.


	5. Not So Funny

**5. Not So Funny**

The restaurant was not quite fancy, but it did sport white tablecloths and waiters with shiny red bowties. A neat little bar stood at one end where a few people sat, chatting over colorful drinks. In the front of the room was a raised stage with a red curtain hanging behind it. The place was fairly full, but there were a few empty tables scattered about the room. The people varied greatly, some in nearly formal attire while others were casual down to tennis shoes and Levis. A four-piece band, consisting of sax, drums, guitar and keyboard played 'Kokomo' from the far corner.

"Where do you want to sit?" Larry asked as they surveyed the room.

"Hmm." Balki tapped his lips thoughtfully, evaluating the choices. He began a rhythmic chant, pointing to a different empty table with each word. "Dimbodega, dimbodega, habodega—"

Larry grabbed his arm and pulled it down. "How about this table?" He said, dragging Balki to the nearest empty seat and pushing him into the chair.

"This works."

Almost immediately a young man with dark skin and a cheerful smile brought them menus. "Hi. My name is Roger, and I'll be your waiter tonight."

"I'm Balki." The Mypiot began to rise from his seat, arms spread in greeting when Larry's foot made hard contact with his shin, sending him toppling back into his chair with a startled yelp. He eyed his cousin in confusion, while Larry shot him a look and shook his head in warning.

The waiter elevated one eyebrow then said: "I'll give you a few minutes to decide."

"Thank you." Larry gave a polite nod as Roger left.

"Why you did that?" Balki asked, reaching down to rub his leg.

"It's against restaurant policy to hug the waiters." Larry explained flatly as he examined the menu.

The waiter returned shortly, pencil and pad hand. "Are you ready to order?"

Balki turned a bit to look up at him. "I was wondering…I know it's not on the menu, but do you have pig snout?"

The boy looked both startled and repulsed for a moment, but he recovered quickly, donning an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Sir. We're fresh out."

"Oh, okay. Um…do you have yak—ow!" Balki jumped as he received a hard kick from under the table.

Larry shot him glare that clearly forbid him to utter another word. He then turned to the waiter, all smiles. "We'll have the steak." He said sweetly, handing him both menus.

"Would you like drinks with that?"

"Do you have Ginger Ale?" Balki asked, giving his cousin a sideways glance, as if afraid of being kicked again.

"Now _that_ we do have." The young man said with a grin then turned to Larry. "And you, sir?"

"Water's fine for me."

He nodded and turned away.

As soon as the waiter was out of eyeshot Balki retaliated with a swift boot to his cousin's dress pants, earning him a tight-lipped glare. That small piece of revenge executed he returned to amiably observing the other patrons.

Larry picked up a small paper held upright by the salt and pepper shakers. "Look, it says here that they have a comic. It'll be starting in…" He glanced at his watch. "Fifteen minutes."

"They have a comic?" The Mypiot asked excitedly. "Ooh, I hope its Calvin and Hobbes."

"No, Balki." He shook his head with a wry smile. "A comic is a person who says things to make people laugh."

"Garfield would be okay too." Balki said, nodding appraisingly.

"No, no. A guy is going to come up on that stage with a microphone and tell jokes."

"Of course, you can't forget Gary Larson." Balki shook a thoughtful finger. "That man has some amazing insight when it comes to chickens."

Larry sighed in defeat, resting his chin on one hand. "Actually it'll probably be more like 'For Better or For Worse'." He muttered dryly.

A short while after the waiter brought their food the lights dimmed. Balki looked mildly concerned. "Is something wrong with the power?"

Larry shook his head, but before he had a chance to explain a spotlight lit the stage.

A little man with a large moustache and an unbelievably deep voice came out, introduced the comic as 'Charles Mason' and made a hasty exit. Charles Mason was an extremely tall man with thick eyebrows and white teeth that must have been put in place with a level. He came out on stage and immediately began insulting the patrons. He would pick someone randomly from the audience, ask their name then throw out a one liner about their name, loud tie, wife's hat or brother's dog. Larry was sure the man had studied under Don Rickles.

"You!' Mason said, pointing the microphone into the crowd. The spotlight landed on Balki.

"Me?" Balki indicated himself with both hands.

"Oh, no." Larry said to himself as a deep sense of foreboding washed over him.

The comedian nodded. "Yeah. You with the blinding vest and parachute sleeves. What's your name?"

Larry shook his head emphatically but his cousin answered before he had a chance to stop him.

"Balki."

Mason cocked his head slightly. "Pardon me, did you say 'Balki'?"

"Yes."

"What kind of imbecilic name is 'Balki'?" The man asked sarcastically.

"Don't answer him." Larry whispered urgently.

Balki ignored his cousin and replied with a large smile. "Oh, po po! It's not imbecilic. It's Myposian."

"Ooooh, Myposian!" Mason smiled broadly, obviously having no idea what 'Myposian' meant but knowing that he had hit the jackpot. "Well, my Myposian friend Balki, come on up here!" He beaconed expansively with one hand.

"No, Balki. No, no, no!" Balki was out of his chair and up on the stage before Larry could grab him.

The crowd applauded and Balki waved at them, squinting slightly in the spotlight.

"Well, Balki it's nice to meet you." The comedian held out a hand, which Balki ignored, giving the man a big hug instead.

"It's nice to meet you too!"

Larry hid his face in both hands as the audience laughed.

"Whoa, there!" Mason grabbed both Balki's arms, broke the embrace and pushed him back. "Do you greet everyone that way or am I special?"

"Well, a hug is the traditional greeting on Mypos."

"Mypos? Is that where you hail from?"

Balki shook his head. "We don't usually get hail unless it's an extra cold winter. Although one year it snowed. Well, it wasn't really snow. It was ash. That's when Mount Mypos erupted."

Mason's thick eyebrows nearly touched his hairline, obviously unable to believe his luck. "So, how did that go? Did you toss in a human sacrifice or two before it stopped?"

Balki put a hand to his chest in shock. "Of course not, don' be ridiculous! Although, we did do the mandatory lava chant to Magmiki, the goddess of fire and heartburn."

The comedian grinned evilly. "Show me."

"Oh, please no!" Larry begged under his breath.

"You mean now?" Balki asked.

"Yeah, we'd like to see it." He turned to the audience. "Wouldn't we folks?"

The patrons cheered and applauded.

"Aww." Balki said shyly. "You don't want me do that."

"Of course we do." Mason's voice dripped of mock sincerity. "It will be a real cultural experience."

"Well, okay. But usually you do this holding a chicken."

To Larry's complete and utter horror his cousin burst into a strange chant with all the whoops and trills of a trail driver while doing a dance that seemed to be a bizarre mixture of the Twist, the Chicken Dance and the Charleston. Larry shrank in his seat. Part of him wanted to storm up there and rescue his cousin from humiliating himself but the other part wanted to crawl under the table and die.

When Balki had finished the ritual the crowd exploded with cheering applause. Balki waved off the praise bashfully. "Oh, go on with you!"

Mason stood with his mouth half open. "Wow." He said, finally. "I have to admit I have never seen anything quite like that. You don't happen to work at a circus do you?"

"No." Balki answered honestly, once again missing the insult. "I work at a hand store called the 'Ritz Discount'"

"Second hand. _Second_ hand." Larry whispered harshly. He was getting more angry with each insult. But he still couldn't bring himself to do anything but sit and fume. There were just too many people and they were not the well-meaning crowd at the pool either. Their laughter was merciless, prompted by any affront to a person's dignity.

Mason shook his head. "Never saw that coming. See, my next guess would have been a smuggler."

"A what?" Balki asked innocently.

"A smuggler." He repeated. "I mean, there's gotta be a reason you're wearing these sleeves." He grabbed Balki's wrist, held his arm out and pulled at the fabric at his elbow, demonstrating the actual size of his sleeve. "I mean you could hide a couple thousand dollars worth of drugs in there and..."

Balki snatched his hand away and frowned, shocked by the comment. "I would never do that! It's illegal. And Cousin Larry says it's bad for you."

"Well, you'd be great at it."

Balki shrugged one shoulder. He was obviously becoming uncomfortable, and Larry suspected he was beginning to realize he was being made fun of.

"I mean, look at you. You've got a built in hiding place. Look at that nose!"

Balki put a hand up to the bridge of his nose, his expression hurt, as if he just now heard the insulting tone in the comedian's voice.

"There's gotta be plenty of extra space in there."

"Well," Balki said hesitantly, obviously trying to give the man the benefit of the doubt. "It…it is the pride of Mypos."

Mason cocked his head curiously. "Tell me, Balki, does everybody on Mypos talk like they've got a mouth full of peanut butter?"

"That's it!" Larry slammed a hand onto the table and rose to his feet. He stomped up the three steps onto the stage. The spotlight was instantly upon him but he was so angry he scarcely noticed.

"Hey, Balki," Mason said. "Who's the lipless midget coming to your rescue?"

"This my cousin Larry." Balki answered, patting him gently on the shoulder.

"You should be ashamed of yourself!" Larry shoved Balki behind him and stood to his full height, which wasn't very impressive compared to the overly tall comedian.

Mason put a hand on his hip and gave Larry a superior smirk. "I suppose you're going to tell me to pick on someone my own size."

Somewhere in the back of his mind Larry heard the audience laugh, but at that moment righteous indignation far overshadowed the fear of humiliation. "You're not a comedian. You're nothing but a bully with a microphone."

He turned to his cousin, taking him by the hand. "Come on, Balki, let's go."

"Um…well, goodbye Charles. Nice to meet you." Balki said, looking extremely bewildered as Larry dragged him from the stage.

"Hey, 'Cousin Larry'," Mason called as they moved toward the back door. "Where'd you get that hair? Stick your finger in a light socket?"

As they left the restaurant Larry released Balki's arm and stormed down the hallway. He was angry and humiliated. "I've got a good mind to complain to the Captain."

Balki shrugged. "Well, the steak was a little tough. But…"

"I mean about the comic!" Larry stabbed a finger back toward the restaurant.

"Charles could brush up on his social skills." Balki admitted. "He could definitely use a lesson in tact."

"Balki, the man said you talk like you've got a mouth full of peanut butter and he called me a lipless midget."

"Got you on both counts there, Cousin." Balki said, one side of his mouth twitching into a grin. "Although, technically you're not a midget, you're just…eh…vertically challenged."

Larry glared daggers at his cousin for a moment before continuing. "He wasn't just being observant! He was making fun of us."

Balki's dark eyebrows came together in a confused frown. "Why would he did that?"

"Because some people think it's funny. Didn't you hear the crowd laughing at you?"

"I…I thought they were laughing _with_ me."

"Well they weren't! And after that dance…" He groaned slightly and put a hand to his head as if the very memory embarrassed him. "…who could really blame them? I cannot _believe_ you did that!"

"I'm proud of my heritage." The Mypiot answered simply. "It's not often I get asked to display it." They walked a little ways further before Balki added. "I'm proud of you too."

Larry looked at his cousin in confusion. "Me? Why?"

"Well, you don' like to get up in front of people, but you did it anyway to protect me. Thank you, Cousin Larry."

The short man gave a small shrug and smiled at his friend. "Friends watch out for each other." After a moment his smile grew. "I did tell him off pretty good, didn't I?"

"_Way_ off!"

They walked in silence for a while until Larry's pace slowed to a stop, his face suddenly pained.

"Cousin, what's wrong?" Balki asked in concern as Larry leaned slightly against the wall and brought a hand to his stomach.

"I think the pills are wearing off." He patted his pockets for a moment, then sighed. "I left them in the cabin."

Rain was falling hard when they stepped out onto the breezeway. Wind tugged at their hair and clothing, making Balki's wide sleeves flap comically. Larry couldn't help but be surprised at how quickly the weather had turned.

By the time they reached their cabin they were both soaked to the skin despite the awning that covered the walkway. Larry leaned heavily on his cousin's shoulder as they stepped into the room. He was so nauseous he could hardly see straight and he had already thrown up once on the way there. He groaned as Balki maneuvered him to the bed.

Balki patted him gently on the cheek. "You just wait there. I'll get your pills for you."

"Thank you. They're in the bathroom." He mumbled weakly and curled up on his side with both arms wrapped around his stomach.

Suddenly the same, overly happy voice they had heard in the spa, sounded over some unseen speaker. "Hello there, passengers. This is your Captain again. We're experiencing a little rough weather right now. So, for your safety, please remain indoors. The decks outside are quite slick and we don't want any lawsuits on our hands." The voice chuckled lightly. "So just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. But please, my friends, stay inside." The good-natured laugh came again. "Besides being the captain of a cruise ship, I'm also an aspiring poet."

The man was way too happy for Larry's liking but at the moment he was simply too sick to comment on it.

He heard Balki rummaging around the bathroom and then the rattle of a pill bottle. "Oh, po po!" Came Balki's sharp gasp just as an ominous 'kerplunk' rang through the cabin.

"What? What was that?" Larry forced himself to sit up.

Balki slowly emerged from the bathroom, his eyes wide and looking like a puppy caught chewing his master's shoe. "I…" He hesitated a long moment, swallowing hard. "I just dropped your pills in the toilet."


	6. Overboard

**6. Overboard**

It had to have been at least an hour since they had arrived at the cabin and Larry had been laying on the bed and groaning for just as long. The only time he got up was to run to the bathroom to throw up. Balki wouldn't stop apologizing and Larry was sure that had the cabin a fireplace the Mypiot would have sat in the ashes.

Finally Larry had had enough. There was one thing he could do to make himself feel better. "I need some fresh air!" Larry rose unsteadily to his feet, and with uncertain steps, headed for the door.

"No." Perceiving his cousin's intentions Balki moved in front of the door before Larry could reach it. "You can't go outside. The captain said it was to dangerous."

"Balki, get out of my way."

"The air out there is the same as the air in here." Balki crossed his arms defiantly.

"It helps if I can see the horizon." Larry explained.

"Well there's one right over there." Balki pointed at the seascape painting on the wall. "You can look at that."

"If you don't move I'm going to throw up all over that fancy vest of yours."

Balki frowned and put a protective hand over his vest but he didn't budge.

Larry threw his hands up in defeat and began to walk back towards the bed. "Alright. _Alright_! You win."

Balki relaxed a bit, relieved that he was able to talk some sense into his cousin.

"Look...uh...Balki, would you mind getting me a glass of water? Maybe that'll help." Larry asked, now standing beside the bed, leaning on the corner for support.

"Of course I don't mind." Balki gave his friend a sympathetic smile and a pat on the shoulder before crossing to room to the sink.

The second Balki's back was turned Larry bolted out the door. The sudden force of the wind as he stepped out of the calm, stillness of the room and into the raging storm nearly knocked him over. But the fresh air was ten times better than the stale, claustrophobic atmosphere in the cabin. He crossed the breezeway and leaned on the rail, still needing some solid support to keep him standing upright. He tried to focus on the horizon, that almost indistinguishable line between the violently foaming gray waters and the dark angry clouds. That stationary point of reference, no matter how vague, helped to ease the nausea.

"You tricked Balki!"

Larry didn't turn at his cousin's outraged voice. He kept his eyes fixed firmly on the horizon. "That's right!"

"Cousin, you're as mad as a hat salesman!" Balki came up behind him and grabbed his arm. "Get back in the cabin." The Mypiot had to shout over the roar of the wind and waves.

Larry tried to shrug him off. "Balki, will you stop it! I'm not a child. This is just a little storm."

Balki looked worriedly into the raging weather, his dark hair swirling around his young face. " 'Little storm'? _'Little _storm'? That's the undergarment of the century! This is crazy. We should not be out here!"

"Well, then go back inside."

"Not without you!" Balki reached down and grabbed his cousin around the waist and pulled.

But Larry kept a tight hold on the banister. "I'm staying right here!" This struggle had become more than simply easing his seasickness. Balki was bossing him around like a little kid and it was really getting on his nerves. Now it was a matter of pride!

Getting nowhere with that hold, Balki let go of Larry's waist and reached down and gripped both his ankles. With one swift motion he jerked his cousin off his feet. But Larry's resolute grip on the banister kept him suspended above the deck.

Frustrated by his cousin's stubbornness Balki finally let go and Larry dropped to his knees. "You are falling way overboard with this!"

"I'm not going overboard with anything." Larry insisted vehemently. "I just want to stand on the deck, breathe some fresh air and stare into space. How can that be wrong?"

"Fine!" Balki stamped over to the nearest lifeboat, grumbling in Myposian, rummaged around in it for a moment and pulled out a life vest. "If you're going to stay out here at least put this on."

"Balki, all I want to do is stand here. I'm not planning on swimming."

"Come on, Cousin. Put it on. You never know what could happen." Balki shoved the life vest firmly into Larry's hands.

"Alright, _alright!_ If it will make you leave me alone." He took it and slipped one arm in.

The deck suddenly lurched beneath them as an unusually large wave rolled under the ship. The sudden movement and the slick deck threw Balki off balance and he pitched forward. He threw his hands out in front of him hoping to break his fall but instead he caught his cousin square in the chest flipping him backwards over the rail. Larry's eyes quadrupled in size at the sudden realization and his startled scream was lost in the roar of the storm as he plunged out of sight.

"Cousin!!" Balki leapt to his feet, his heart in his throat. He leaned over the banister and frantically searched the foaming water that tore at the base of the ship fifty feet below. His racing pulse pounded in his ears as the sea roared, empty save the ship. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, but couldn't have been more than a couple seconds, Larry's panicked, thrashing figure appeared above the water. Thankfully he still had one arm through the life vest; otherwise he surely wouldn't have made it back to the surface. White waves pounded him from all sides, crashing over his head, threatening to drown him regardless of the life vest.

"I'm coming, Cousin!" Balki shouted down at him. "Don' worry. I'm coming!" He had to think fast. Larry was drifting slowly but surely away from the base of the ship. He ran to the nearest lifeboat, threw back the canvas cover and leapt inside. He grabbed the end of the rope and gave it a hard yank. The knot disappeared and the rope slipped from his hands and zipped through several pulleys. He gave a startled gasp as the small boat plummeted with dizzying speed. It hit the water with a loud crack, the impact throwing him off the seat and onto his back. The small lifeboat dipped and bucked with the foaming waves and it was a struggle to climb to his feet. "Cousin!" He shouted at the top of his voice, his head whipping from side to side, searching the water around him. There! A small bit of orange amid the churning white. "Hold on!" He cried, hoping his cousin could hear him over the deafening roar of the ocean. "I'm on my way."

Larry fought to hold onto the life vest as each wave tried to rip it away from him. He was afraid to try and put his other arm through lest he loose his grip entirely. Water pummeled him from every angle, trying to beat him under. He could scarcely breathe. It seemed every time he tried to take a breath a wave would pound him down and he ended up with a lungful of water. In those scarce seconds that his head was above water he could see the cruise ship looming over him and he could tell he was drifting away. He wanted to yell for help. But he couldn't. No one could hear him anyway, not over the deafening roar of the storm.

_This is it!_ He realized with sudden clarity. _I'm going to die! What an end for Larry Appleton._

Something thin and wet slapped him in the side of the face and landed over his shoulder.

A voice rose faintly above the crashing waves. "Grab the rope!"

_It's Balki_! He realized with a sudden surge of hope. With one hand he let go of the lifejacket and caught the rope, wrapping it tightly around his hand. But as he had feared the movement caused his arm to slip out of the vest and he lost his grip on it completely and the waves quickly tore it from his reach. Then, separated from his only hold on the surface, he sank.

"Cousin!" A rush of fear hit Balki with near physical force as his cousin's head disappeared below the waves. "Hold on tight!" He shouted as he reeled in the rope hand over hand. The line stayed limp and for a horrible moment he was afraid Larry hadn't caught it. Then, suddenly, it pulled taut. With renewed optimism he redoubled his efforts. He heaved on the line until he thought his arms would give out. Finally, Larry's coughing, gasping figure was pulled to the surface beside the dinghy. Balki grabbed him by the shirt and hauled him out of the roiling water and into the small boat.

Balki threw his arms around his cousin in a tight, soggy embrace, relieved tears slipping down his face along with the poring rain. Larry hugged back, laughing uncontrollably in the giddy exhilaration of simply being alive.

Then, in an instant his face fell and the last laugh caught in his throat. Cold fingers tightened around his heart. "Oh, no!" He broke the embrace and pushed Balki back.

"What?" The Mypiot turned to see what his cousin was staring at. His dark eyes widened in horror at the stern of the departing ship.

"They're leaving without us!" Larry exclaimed.

They both burst into a panicked frenzy of shouting, waving and jumping up and down. They yelled and screamed until their throats were hoarse but the ship continued resolutely on its course, unperturbed by their calls for help. They watched in dismay, the dinghy dipping and bobbing beneath them as the huge ocean liner disappeared from sight, leaving them stranded in the growing storm.

Balki sank sullenly onto the nearest bench. "Babasticki!"

Larry was still shouting and waving a lifejacket.

"Give it up, Cousin. They're gone."

He quieted instantly. His arms dropped to his sides and he let the lifejacket slip from his hand. Larry shook his head slightly, his eyes riveted to the spot where the ship had vanished into the wind and fog. "This…this can't be happening." His voice sounded hollow and removed as if it were all a dream and he was convinced he would wake up at any moment.

"Balki, this can't be happening." He repeated. Just then the dipping and rocking of the tiny boat registered to his body and the seasickness hit him full force. One hand clamped over his mouth while the other went to his stomach. He sank to his knees, bent over the side and threw up.

"Cousin, you're shaking." Balki observed in concern. "Are you alright?"

Larry forced himself upright and glared at his cousin. His whole body was trembling. "I'm cold, I'm wet, I'm sick and I'm _lost at sea_! Does it sound like I'm alright?!" He groaned and brought a hand to his head. Shouting certainly didn't make him feel better.

Balki's face twisted in sympathy as Larry threw up again.

When Larry sat up a second time all the anger was gone from his voice to be replaced by a frightened whine. "Balki, what are we going to do?"

"First," Despite the intense fear he was feeling Balki tried to keep his voice calm and collected as he pulled Larry to him and placed a comforting arm around his shivering friend. "We need to get out of the rain." He reached over and pulled the large canvas over them, blocking out the driving downpour.

They huddled together in silence for a long time, freezing and soaked to the bone, listening to the howling wind, the rain beating the canvas and the waves splashing against the boat.

"You know, Cousin," Balki remarked quietly. "I'm beginning to think going on vacation with you is not such a good idea."


	7. Water, Water Everywhere

**7. Water, Water Everywhere**

Larry awoke to a violent rocking that could only mean they were about to be capsized. He threw his hands out to steady himself and was about to grab the nearest life vest when he realized the weather was perfectly calm. The sky was blue and the sun was shining, the sea was still. Then why was the boat...? That's when Balki's contently singing voice reached his brain.

"Rock the boat. Don' rock the boat, baby! Rock the boat. Don' tip the boat over!"

Larry sat up and turned toward the stern to see Balki. The Mypiot had his back to him and a hand on either side of the boat and was rocking along with the song. Larry brought a hand to his queasy stomach. "Balki stop it!"

"Oh, Cousin! You're finally awake." Balki turned and moved beside him.

Larry glared at him with seething irritation. "Don't you ever, _ever_ do that again."

Balki's eyebrows rose innocently. "Do what?"

"Rock the boat."

Unable to resist a cue like that he sang. "Don' rock the boat, baby!" He threw out a hand toward Larry as if prompting him to add the next line.

Larry stared at him in open-mouthed disbelief. "How can you sing at a time like this? Don't you understand? We are in major jeopardy."

Balki scanned the vast ocean surrounding them, then turned back to his cousin, eyeing him uncertainly. "I don't think so. No Alex Trebek here."

He was about to retort when a wave of dizziness hit him with startling suddenness and Larry brought a hand up to his forehead, trying to make the spinning stop. He let out a small wavering moan.

Balki's face was the very picture of sympathy. "Oh, Cousin," He moved to put an arm around his shoulder but Larry waved him back. "I'm sorry you're so sick. I wish there was something I could do."

"Just…just don't rock the boat again." Larry answered weakly, trying to keep his eyes focused on the horizon, which wasn't all that hard considering it was just about all there was to look at. "How long have I been asleep?" Larry asked, suddenly wondering how he possibly fell asleep with such danger and discomfort.

"Since sometime last night."

Larry sighed despondently. "Balki, what are we going to do?"

The Mypiot gave a small shrug. "We could play a game."

Larry scrunched up his petite nose and stared at his cousin. "We are in the middle of the ocean, about to die of thirst and starvation and you want to play a game? Aren't you scared?"

"Of course I'm scared. But right now there's nothing we can do to make things better. So we might as well pass the time."

If his head hadn't been spinning and he didn't feel like throwing his guts up he surely would have come up with a reasonable argument. But as ill as he was, any more argument would have taken too much effort. "What game?"

"How 'bout charades!" Balki's face lit up excitedly.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because the way you play you'll tip the boat over."

"Oh, right." Balki nodded. "We're not rocking the boat. Forgot. Umm. Ooh! How about 'Ding Dong Binki Dinki Sploosh!' First you close your eyes, then you…"

"How about Twenty Questions." Larry interrupted, before Balki could get too far into the rules of a Myposian game he had no intention of playing.

Balki gave a small grunt at being shot down right in the middle of his sentence. "Well, okay, but it's not as fun."

"But it's safe." Larry crossed his arms on the lip of the boat and rested his chin on them, keeping his gaze fixed on the watery horizon. "You go first."

"Okay, uhh." He tapped his chin, his brows furrowed in deep concentration. Then he smiled and chuckled softly to himself. "Got it."

"Person?"

"No."

"Place?"

"Uh, uh."

"Thing?"

"Nope."

"Animal."

"Yep."

"Sheep?"

Balki's jaw dropped in amazement. "Wwow! That was fast. You're good at this game."

"The best." Larry mumbled dryly.

Completely missing the sarcasm in his cousin's voice Balki clapped his hands in excitement. "Let me try again. Let me try again. I'll stunt you this time."

"Go ahead."

Balki bit his bottom lip as if that would help him think harder. After a moment he grinned slyly and gave a self-satisfied nod. "You'll never get this one."

"Person?"

"Yep."

"Wayne Newton."

"Now that's just uncanned!" Balki shook his head in complete awe.

Larry frowned for a moment then said: "I think you mean 'uncanny.'"

"How you did that so fast? Do you have ESPN?"

"No."

"HBO?"

"No."

"PMS?"

Larry gave his cousin a look that crossed between amusement and disgust. "Uuh, _no._ Besides, it's my turn." He thought a moment then nodded faintly. "Okay."

"Person?"

"No."

"Place?"

"Yes."

"Ooh, that's a hard one. The Ritz?"

"No."

"Our apartment?"

"No."

"The Park?"

"No."

Balki really had no skill at the game so half an hour later he was still asking questions and getting no closer to the answer.

"Mount Rushmore?"

"No."

"The 7 Eleven across the street from Pizza Hut?"

"No." Larry raised an eyebrow as his cousin bit his lip in frustration. "Give up?"

Balki shrugged. "I run out of places."

"It's…" An odd gurgling sound interrupted. Larry frowned. "Was that your stomach?"

Balki put a hand to his midsection and grinned sheepishly. "It's telling me it's hungry. We haven't eaten anything since yesterday lunch."

"Or drank anything." Larry added, the issue inducing him to unconsciously lick his increasingly chapped lips. He stared at the water around the boat longingly. "They say you're not supposed to drink seawater." He said with a despondent sigh.

Balki shook his head emphatically. "It make you very sick."

He gave a small shrug. "I'm already sick, so what difference would it make?" He wasn't seriously considering it…yet. But now that the subject had been brought up he couldn't get the thought of a nice cold drink out of his mind. The corner of his mouth turned up wryly. "Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink."

Balki gazed at his cousin appraisingly. "That's profound, Cousin. I didn't know you were a poet."

Larry turned and gave his cousin a long hard look before admitting: "That wasn't original. It's from…" His voice trailed off and his eyes narrowed. A strange rippling was growing in the previously calm waters. "Balki, what is that?" Larry sat up straight and pointed to the choppy disturbance that seemed to be growing closer.

"I think it was my tummy again."

"No, not that." He pointed at the choppy water. "That."

"Fish!" Balki exclaimed exuberantly. He rose to his feet, rocking the boat and eliciting an unbridled curse from his cousin. "You see them?!" With one leap he dove overboard.

"Balki!" Larry shouted and leaped to the edge of the boat, ignoring the queasy feeling the sudden rocking induced. "What are you doing?! Get back in the boat!" There were so many fish that visibility in the water was nearly zero. It was as if his cousin had simply disappeared. His breathing began to quicken along with his pulse. How strong was the current? Was there an undertow? If there was, was his cousin a strong enough swimmer to fight it? He didn't dare jump in after him. Larry's swimming skills had much to be desired, even in a swimming pool. He could keep his head above water but little more. And after nearly drowning after falling overboard he was loath to face the water again. But Balki was taking a long time and if he didn't come up soon Larry knew he would have to do something.

Balki breached the surface several feet from the boat. He shook his wet, ebony hair out of his eyes and turned to his cousin, easily treading water. "Hard to catch them when you're swimming." He remarked casually, before diving again.

"Balki, wait! Get back in here! Are you crazy?" Larry shouted at the water where his cousin had vanished. Movement off to the left caught his eye and his head snapped in that direction. His heart leaped into his throat and for a second he thought he might faint. Several large, gray fins skimmed the surface of the water. They were heading right for the boat. "BALKI!!" His voice rose to a high-pitched shriek. "Get up here, _now_! There are sharks. Balki!"

He still couldn't see anything but fish. Balki was nowhere in sight and the fins were coming closer. Larry's pulse pounded in his ears as scenes from Jaws flashed through his mind.

There was a small splash and Balki's head appeared next to the boat, the same goofy, oblivious grin on his face. "They're pretty fast, but don' worry. I'll get one."

Before Balki had a chance to dive again Larry's hand shot out and grabbed a handful of his cousin's dark hair. "Will you get in here!" He demanded as he struggled to drag his protesting friend into the boat.

"Ow! What are you doing?" Balki cried as he was hauled roughly over the edge and into the bottom of the lifeboat. He rubbed the top of his head and glared accusingly at his cousin. "Why you did that?"

"What's the matter with you?" Larry shouted accusingly. "You don't just jump into the ocean!"

Balki cocked his head innocently. "Why not? The water's calm. Not much current here."

"There are sharks!" Larry stabbed a finger at the gray fins that were now circling the boat. "You want to be eaten alive?"

Balki started at this revelation, looked at the water and laughed. "Cousin, those not sharks." He sounded as if he were reassuring a frightened child.

"Balki, I'm not stupid. I know what a shark looks like. I've seen Jaws."

"Cousin, they not sharks." Balki insisted.

"Then what are they?" The short, curly haired man demanded.

"They're…" Balki's voice trailed off as a confused frown crossed his face. "Well, sink my ship and call me Skipper! I don' know what the English word. But they not sharks." He leaned over the edge of the boat and splashed the water a few times with his hand. "Here, I show you."

Larry watched nervously as one of the fins approached, ready to jerk Balki back if the creature turned hostile. He leaned over not quite sure what to expect but he was certainly surprised when a gray head popped up and he got a face full of water. With a startled gasp he fell over backwards, banging his head on one of the oars.

"It's not going to hurt you." Balki assured as Larry scrambled to his feet.

"It's a dolphin!" He exclaimed, watching in amazement as Balki ran a gentle hand over the creature's wet snout.

"Is that what you call them?" Balki made an odd clicking sound that brought two more heads to the surface. "My uncle Philo call them a lot of things. He don't like them because they take his fish."

"Too bad one of them is not Flipper or we could send him for help."

"You want pet him?"

Larry eyed the dolphin uncertainly. "Balki, it's a wild animal. I really don't think that's a good idea."

"He won't bite you." Balki turned to the dolphin closest to the boat. "You promise not to bite Cousin Larry?"

It bobbed its head up and down and made a high-pitched clicking noise.

Larry raised an eyebrow. Maybe it really was Flipper. Either that or Balki had studied under Dr. Dolittle. In the end he decided that it was just a coincidence.

"Are…are you sure it won't bite?" He asked, a bit of childish excitement welling up inside him. As a kid he had always wanted to go to Sea World. Unfortunately his family was far from rich and taking nine kids plus two adults to a resort like that would have cost a small fortune. Not to mention Flipper had been one of his favorite shows when he was little. It would be a pretty awesome experience to touch a real wild animal like that.

"He won't bite." Balki assured again. "You better hurry before he decides to leave."

With a tiny, self-conscious laugh he moved to the edge of the boat and leaned over.

"Go on." Balki urged gently. "It's okay."

He reached out slowly, hand outstretched toward the smiling face. As he came closer the dolphin retreated under the water. He pulled his hand back. "I guess it didn't like me." He sighed, sounding a bit disappointed as he still leaned over the brim of the boat. Suddenly the head popped back up, inches from Larry, and spewed a shower of water directly in his face.

"I guess not." Balki was unable to keep himself from laughing.

Larry glared at his cousin. His lips were compressed into a thin line and water dripped off the tip of his thin nose. "It's not funny." He said through clenched teeth.

"Well…eh…Cousin, you have to admit it was a little funny." Balki was trying his best to suppress an amused smile and he was failing miserably.

The dolphin nodded its head and made a sound that Larry thought sounded suspiciously like mocking laughter before disappearing under the water.

"See? He thinks it's funny."

As the day wore on no food or water presented itself and the weather became increasingly hot and they had to take shelter under the canvas. The silence of their solitude was broken only by seawater lapping gently against the boat and, of course, Balki's singing.

"Come on down to my boat baby. Come on down we'll sail away. Fish all day, sleep all night. Father never let's her…"

"Stop it!" Larry shouted. The lack of food and water and the mind-numbing monotony was making him increasingly irritable. "Will you stop it? Stop singing. I'm sick of it!."

"Well, somebody got up on the wrong side of his head this morning."

"I didn't get up on the wrong side of anything." Larry insisted testily. "If anybody else had to be subjected to this for hours on end they would be fed up too!"

"'Fed up'? When did you eat?" Balki demanded, sounding a bit indignant.

"It's…an…expression." He said through clenched teeth. "Just stop singing. It's driving me crazy."

"You got a better way to pass the time?"

"Yes. Sit quietly."

"That's no fun."

"Balki, I'm sick. I'm tired. I don't want to have fun. So just shut _up_!"

Balki shrank at the unadulterated anger in his cousin's voice. "Okay." He said meekly. "I be quiet."

Hours passed in silence as the tiny boat drifted aimlessly, nothing but the gentle rippling of the water breaking the tense silence.

"Cousin, can I see your watch for a minute." Balki asked quietly.

Larry glanced at Balki, shrugged indifferently, unbuckled his watch and handed it to his cousin.

Balki turned it over in his hand, looking at it from every angle. "Maybe there's something on it we can make a fish hook."

Larry's eyes widened and he sat up straight. "No way!" He opened his hand demandingly. "Give it back."

"But it might…" Balki jerked it away from his cousin's grasp, unfortunately in doing so he lost his own grip on it and it sailed over the edge of the boat, landing in the water with a crisp little 'kerplop'.

Balki's eyes widened as he peered over the rim into the murky depths. There was absolutely no sign of Larry's watch, not even a ripple. "Uh oh…" Was all that escaped his mouth before he found himself knocked flat on his back, his airway being constricted and Larry's face inches from his own.

"My Dad gave me that watch for graduation!" Larry shouted, both hands tightly gripping his cousin's collar and shaking him vigorously.

"Cousin, I…I can't breathe when you do that." Balki managed to croak.

"How could you do this to me!?" His eyes were wide in what could only be a cross between panic and blind rage.

Balki, desperate to break his cousin's throttling grasp, reached around and grabbed a handful of his Larry's curly hair and gave it a hard yank. The next thing he knew he was engaged in a kicking, hitting, boat-rocking, hair-pulling brawl.

"How could you get us into this?!"

"Me? I no the one who go outside during a tycoon!"

Balki finally managed to pull out of the fray and stood up. "You are really being a pain in the neckbrace today. What your problem is?"

Larry was on his feet in an instant. "You! You are my problem! How can anybody…" He took a threatening step toward his cousin. The boat rocked to one side with the movement throwing him off balance. His eyes widened and he took in a sudden gasp as he toppled sideways. He made a wild grab for Balki, who in turn reached out to catch him. Their hands locked and Balki instantly realized that Larry's weight, the added momentum of his cousin's fall plus the instability of the boat were far too much for him to control.

Then next thing he knew he was in the water. He came to the surface and was relieved to find that the boat had not capsized. He turned abruptly to the splashing behind him.

"Balki!" Larry's frantic voice was cut off as his head dipped below the surface. He was thrashing wildly, trying to stay afloat, but obviously losing the battle.

With one hand the Mypiot held onto the edge of the boat and with the other calmly reached over and grabbed the back of his cousin's shirt, lifting his head and shoulders above the water. "You really can't swim worth babasticki." He pulled Larry over so he could hold on to the dingy.

The smaller man clung to the edge of the boat for dear life and coughed. "Thanks."

Balki easily treaded water beside him, looking mildly concerned about his friend. "You got to relax when you're in the water or you gonna sink like hole in the head."

Soon they were both back in the boat, the warm sun beginning to dry them. Larry once again was slumped in the bottom of the boat with his chin resting on the lip of their tiny craft staring off into the distance. Balki sat quietly on one of the benches staring at his hands. After that whole incident he didn't dare make a sound.

"Balki, I'm sorry." Larry took his eyes from the horizon to face the young immigrant. He shook his head in frustration and remorse. "I don't know what came over me. I guess I just lost it."

"It's okay, Cousin." A small, reassuring smile turned one side of his mouth. "I understand. Papa used to say 'an empty stomach and a bag full of worries can make even a wise man lose his head'."

Larry turned his gaze back out to sea with a look of hopelessness that was almost painful for Balki to behold. "Balki," He said with a sorrowful sigh. "I don't think we're going to get out of this." A deep depression seemed to take hold of him then and there. Throughout the day he sank deeper and deeper and no matter how hard he tried Balki couldn't seem to pull him out of it. Around evening he fell into a fitful sleep leaving the Mypiot all alone with nothing but the ocean to keep him company.

--

"Cousin, Cousin. Wake up."

An insistent hand upon his shoulder shook Larry from the relative security of sleep into tortured and queasy consciousness. He shoved Balki's hand away roughly not even opening his eyes. "Balki, I want to die in my sleep where the world is nice and stable. Now, leave me alone."

But the shaking persisted. "Cousin, listen. Do you hear that?" Balki's voice was edged with excitement.

"Hear what?" He mumbled groggily still trying to hang on to the last vestiges of sleep. Then he heard it. A dull roar. His eyes opened and he sat up. It was just before dawn and stars still scattered the dark sky above. But faint light rimmed the horizon announcing that the sun was soon to make an appearance. "What is that?"

"Either it's waves breaking on a beach or we're about to fall off the edge of the earth."

Larry was instantly alert. "A beach? You mean land?!" He squinted into the faint but growing light. His heart jumped at the sight of dark shape silhouetted against the morning sky. "It _is_ land! Ha _ha_! Balki, were saved!" Then the boat dipped into a gully between two waves and Larry's hand instantly went to his stomach. "Ooh."

"Cousin, the waves are getting bigger as we get closer to the beach, and they'll start breaking soon. You should put on your lifejacket just in case we..."

Before the words were completely out of his mouth the deafening sound of splintering wood tore through the morning air. A sudden, jarring impact capsized the small craft pitching its occupants violently into the dark, angry surf.

After several disorienting moments of tumbling head over heels under water, Balki breached the surface with a loud gasp. He turned around in the dim light, searching for the boat. He could see it several meters away, upside down and half underwater. Splinters of wood floated by. They must have hit a submerged rock, he surmised. He ducked under the water for a moment to let a large wave pass over him. When he came up again a horrible thought hit him. Where was Larry?

"Cousin?!" His head whipped from side to side, searching the dark water around him. "Cousin Larry, can you hear me?" He shouted at the top of his voice. When no answer came a deep fear rose up in him, tying knots inside his chest. The day before Larry had graphically proved his ineptitude in the water. Could he possibly make it safely to the beach on his own?

It was only moments before he felt sand beneath him and he stumbled onto the gently sloping shore. He scarcely allowed himself time to catch his breath before rising to his feet and scanning the beach, which was now glowing in the warm pink of sunrise. The beauty went completely unnoticed, however. There was only one thing on Balki's mind. He cupped both hands around his mouth and shouted at the top of his voice. "Cousin! Cousin Larry!" The roar of the surf and a gull crying overhead was the only reply.

For a brief moment he was torn. He knew he had to search for his cousin, but which way to go? He wished there were two of him so he could go in both directions at once. Without any further thought he chose left and started down the beach, calling as he walked.

He paused briefly to drink a couple of handfuls from a small stream that trickled out of the jungle.

In only minutes he came to a small ridge of black volcanic stone that stretched from the tree line to several meters into the ocean. It wasn't very high and he climbed it easily. As he cleared the rise and got a good look at the sandy beach beyond he froze, certain that his heart had stopped cold.

Up ahead, waves lapped gently at a motionless figure, laying face down in the wet sand. He would know that compact form anywhere. It was Larry.


	8. Shipwrecked

**8. Shipwrecked**

Consciousness came with the sensation of air being forced into his lungs. But it wasn't enough. He had to breathe, but he couldn't. An overwhelmingly powerful urge to cough seized his entire body and he launched into a coughing, choking, gasping fit. He coughed hard until the muscles in his chest ached. And with each spasm he could feel water being expelled from his lungs. Finally, when he could breathe easily he opened his eyes. Balki's worried face took up most of his blurred vision.

"Are you alright?"

Larry nodded weakly and struggled to sit up.

Balki's eyes closed for a moment and let out a small breath of relief. "Oh, Cousin, I was so worried for you I thought my heart would attack me." Balki put a hand over his chest as if to still the organ in question. "You cough up enough water to drown a house!"

Larry nodded again, still trying to catch his bearings.

"It was a good thing I found you when I did or I wouldn't have been able to resuscitate you."

Larry turned to Balki in alarm. " 'Resuscitate'? You did mouth to mouth on me?" He didn't know whether to be grateful or disturbed.

Balki shook his head with a wave of his hand. "Of course not, don' be ridiculous!"

Larry breathed a sigh of relief.

"It's 'mouth-to-_nose_ resuscitation' and it's one of the first things they teach you in sheepherder's class. Although I really wish they would get those dummies to practice on because the sheep never hold still long enough."

"Well, thank you, Balki." Larry said sincerely, trying valiantly to ignore the sheep remark. "You saved my life."

"I'm just glad you're alive. When I first find you wash up on the beach I was so afraid..." Balki swallowed hard as if the very memory disturbed him deeply. "...I thought you were… I thought I was shipwrecked alone."

Larry's eyes suddenly grew wide. "Shipwrecked!" He leaped to his feet and spun in a circle but all there was to see was a long beach, the ocean and palm trees. "Balki, were shipwrecked!"

"Don't I just say that?" Balki's brows came together worriedly. "I think the temporary lack of oxygen to your brain is affecting your hearing."

Larry's breathing began to quicken. "What are we going to do?!" He grabbed Balki by the shirt and shook him. "What are we going to _do_?!"

"Come on, Cousin." Balki reached a hand around and patted Larry on the top of his wet head. "Don't get mad. Get glad. You got to look on the bright side."

Larry gaped at him in open-mouthed disbelief. "Bright side? Balki, we are marooned, stranded, shipwrecked! What bright side?!"

"Well," Balki replied calmly, prying Larry's fingers from his shirt. "We are on dry ground, you're not seasick anymore, we unhurt, and we still have each other." He paused for a moment, then added. "Besides we've got this nifty postcard view." He made a sweeping gesture encompassing the pearly white sands, the calm, turquoise sea with its gently lapping waves and the bright green palm trees swaying in the soft breeze.

"We're gonna die!" Larry's voice began to rise in pitch until it reached a squeaky whine. "We've got no food, no fresh water, no..."

Balki interrupted with the Gilligan's Island theme song. "No phones, no lights, no motor cars. Not a single luxury. Like Robinson Crusoe it's primitive as can be!" When Larry gave him a dirty look he stopped singing and put an arm around his panicking friend. "Come on, Cousin. We have to keep stiff lower lip!"

"That's 'upper lip.' " Larry corrected automatically.

"Well, you'll have to settle with lower 'cuz your upper lip is nothing to write Mama about."

Larry ran a shaky hand through his damp curls and looked as if he was about to cry.

"Besides," Balki continued lightly. "When they see the lifeboat is gone and find us missing they'll send out a search party."

"You think so?" Larry squeaked, his breathing beginning to slow at the prospect of being rescued.

"I know so."

"You're right. You're right." He took a couple of deep breaths and the panic began to fade. "They'll find us. But those searches can take days. So if we're going to survive we need a plan."

Balki rolled his eyes heavenward. "Hooo boy."

"The first thing we need..." Larry began in his 'take charge' voice. "Is a fire. Then after we're warm and dry we'll look for food and fresh water."

"There's a stream back that way." Balki gestured behind him.

"Okay, we'll build our fire there."

They started off along the beach, Larry's shoes squishing with each step.

"Why you don't take your shoes off?" Balki suggested, motioning to his own shoes, which were tied together at the laces and thrown over his shoulder.

Larry glanced down uncertainly. "I don't know Balki. I really don't like going barefoot. In the apartment is one thing but out here…you never know what you might step on." He paused for a moment then added: "…or _in_."

"Walking in warm sand with bare feet is one of the great pleasures of life. Besides, your shoes are wet and you get sand in them anyway."

"You've got a point there." He stopped for a moment to slip off his shoes and stuff his soggy socks inside them. Then, after rolling up his pants to just below the knee, so as not to get his cuffs sandy, they continued down the beach.

"There, isn't that better? Feel that sand between your toes! Don't you feel like a real live beach bummer?"

It wasn't five minutes before they reached a happy little brook that wound it's way through the jungle foliage to the beach. Larry dropped to his knees and drank in voracious gulps. The fresh liquid tasted delightfully sweet after swallowing so much salt water. He sat up with a satisfied sigh. "Well, there's one thing down." He gave a brisk nod and flicked the air with his finger as if checking something off a list.. His eyebrows came together in a thoughtful frown. "Boy, I wish I had my clipboard."

"Well, I wish I had Dimitri. But wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin' ain't gonna get us babasticki."

"You're right. We've got to get to work." Larry said, standing and walking to the tide line where he picked up several pieces of dry driftwood and dropped them near a large log that had once been a palm tree. "You know," He began with a proud air, as he got to his knees before the small pile of wood. "I used to be a Cub Scout."

"What kind of cubs did you scout for?" Balki asked innocently as he sat on the log, watching his cousin curiously.

"No, not 'cub scout', _Cub Scout_. It's a group where kids are taught about wilderness survival."

"Ooh. Oh, I see." Balki nodded in apparent understanding. After a long pause he asked: "So, bears, lions or wolves?"

Larry turned to give his cousin a long look then finally said: "Bears." He turned back to the task at hand. He took a stick in each hand and began to rub them together vigorously.

"Cousin, what…what are you doing?" Balki asked, trying to hold back an amused grin.

"I'm building a fire." He answered, his voice vibrating along with the motion. "You see, rubbing the wood together builds friction and friction causes heat and when you get enough heat you get fire."

"I see. But wouldn't it be easier if you…"

Larry put up a halting hand. "Balki, this takes concentration."

"Yes, but don't you think that…"

"I know what I'm doing."

"Be that as that may be. I still thought you might…"

Larry gave Balki a pointed glare. "Balki, how many Cub Scout meetings have you attended?"

"Well, Cousin, I…"

"How many?"

"Eh…"

"How many?"

"Well…"

"How many Cub Scout meetings have you attended in your lifetime?"

"None."

"None? As in zero? As in never, ever have you attended a Cub Scout meeting in your lifetime?"

"That is correct." Balki answered with a hint of a smug grin.

"Well I have attended numerous Cub Scout meetings. I even made Bobcat! So, it would appear that I am the more qualified party here. Wouldn't it."

"So it would appear." Larry failed to notice the complete self-confidence in Balki's voice.

"Well, there you go." He turned away and once again concentrated on rubbing sticks together.

Balki rolled his eyes heavenward and grumbled quietly to himself in Myposian.

"That is very distracting." Larry said without breaking the rhythm. "If all you're going to do is criticize why don't you go someplace else and do something productive, like find us something to eat."

"Now _that_ is a good idea." Balki rose to his feet and marched off toward the water, leaving his cousin to play with his sticks.

Larry wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there trying to make a fire, but it had to have been at least an hour. His arms were sore, his hands were blistered and he was about ready to scream. He didn't look up when he heard Balki's soft footsteps.

"Cousin?"

"What!?" He barked testily, not taking his eyes off the futile task at hand.

"Not working is it?" Balki's voice was soft and the question was not meant mockingly.

"It's working fine!" Larry shouted. "I just need more friction. If I just…I need to…Maybe…" Suddenly he threw the sticks to the ground and his voice rose to a distressed whine. "Balki, it's not working!" His breathing began to quicken and he brought a hand up to the side of his face as if he were physically trying to hold himself together.

"Maybe it would be easier if you used this."

A small flame alit two inches from Larry's face, causing him to go cross-eyed trying to look at it. He pushed Balki's hand back a bit so he could get a better look, then he turned to his cousin accusingly. "Why didn't you tell me you had a lighter?"

"I tried." Balki flicked the lighter closed and crossed his arms. "But you're listening skills have nothing to be desired." He tossed the lighter to Larry. "Here. We going to need a fire to cook these."

Larry frowned. "Cook what?"

Balki motioned to two large fish laid out on the log behind them.

Larry's eyes widened and his mouth dropped. "Where did you get those?!" He moved over to the log to get a better look.

"Where else you gonna get fish?" Balki pointed toward the ocean.

"But you don't have a hook or a net or anything." He picked up one of the fish, examining it closely. He wasn't sure he wanted to eat it if Balki had just found it dead somewhere. But it looked healthy enough, despite the fact that it was dead, of course.

Balki shook his head with a condescending smile. "You don't need those things in shallow water."

"Then what did you use?"

In answer Balki held up his hands, palms outspread and wiggled his fingers.

Larry's eyed his cousin skeptically. "You caught those fish with your _hands_?"

"Of course I did. Don' be ridiculous. What else I'm gonna catch them with? My feet?" He slapped his knee with a sharp laugh as if he had just told the funniest joke in the world.

Larry completely ignored his cousin's attempt at humor. "You couldn't have."

Balki rolled his eyes with an irritated sigh. "Cousin, we haven't eaten in two days. It's food. Don't kiss a gift horse in the mouth."

"Good advice." Larry said with a wry smile as he bent down, flicked the lighter on and began to work on lighting a fire.

"And I clean the fish." Balki remarked happily, reaching into his pants and pulling out a small pocket knife.

"Where'd you get that?" Larry was surprised at how prepared his cousin seemed to be. He knew Balki didn't usually carry around a lighter and a knife.

"The ship have a gift shop. You really should have explore the boat with me. Anyway, they have a lot of neat things in there like alligator heads and little tiny spoons with pictures on the handles but these.." He motioned to the knife and the lighter. "…really took my eyes." He sidled up to Larry, holding the pocket-knife up so he could see. "Look, they have sheep on them!"

Larry looked closer and sure enough, both the lighter and the knife, which were obviously a set, had a French Impressionistic-looking painting printed on them of a small boy with a shepherd's crook gazing out over a field of sheep.

"Isn't it pretty? It reminds me of Mypos."

"Very nice." Larry said, wishing he were in that tranquil setting instead of stranded in the middle of nowhere.

"You know, this panting just blew my mind up!" He shook his head in awe as he tapped the knife handle with his index finger. "How in the world did they paint it so small?"

"They used a one bristle brush." Larry explained, not wanting to go into the mechanics of print transfer. He bent back over the small pile of driftwood and began to work on the fire. "Come on, buddy. Let's get those fish cooked. I don't know about you, but I'm hungry."


	9. A Stroll on the Beach

**9. A Stroll on the Beach**

Larry sat on the log beside his cousin, a small fire flickering before them, enjoying the satisfaction of a full stomach. The fish had been excellent, but considering he hadn't eaten in two days anything would have tasted good.

He stared out to sea, willing a boat or an airplane to appear and come to rescue them. There was another island, a small blotch of green on the edge of the horizon. It looked just like a photo from one of those travel magazines he picked up now and then at the dentist's office. He suddenly sat up straight as a thought hit him. He turned abruptly to his cousin. "BALKI!"

The Mypiot started at the volume and suddenness of Larry's exclamation and nearly fell off the log. "What's wrong?"

"What if we're not alone here?" Larry's eyes were wide and his eyebrows rose to touch the stray curls on his forehead, the very picture of hopeful excitement.

Balki took a couple of deep breaths, trying to dampen the adrenaline rush. "You're here. I'm here. We're not alone."

"No, no. What if there are other people on this island. I mean look at this place!" He made a wild gesture encompassing their surroundings. "It's perfect for an island resort. For all we know there could be bungalows right through those trees."

"Bungalows are nice." Balki nodded thoughtfully. "But I prefer steel drums, myself."

"No, not bongos! Bungalows, _bungalows_."

Balki dipped his head a bit, watching Larry's mouth closely as he repeated the word. "What that is?"

"Bungalows, they're…" He shook his head in frustration. "It doesn't matter. What I'm trying to say is that maybe there are other people here and all we have to do is scout around a bit to find them."

Balki took in a gasp of excitement. "Then we could be rescued and finish our cruise! You know I never did get to see the arcade."

Larry began to tell Balki that if they were rescued he doubted they would be able to continue the cruise and even if they could he wouldn't want to. But he decided it wasn't worth pursuing. He stood and dusted off his pants.

Balki rose as well. "Well, come on. What are we waiting for?" He took one step and turned to his cousin, obviously eager to get started with their mission.

Larry looked over their makeshift campsite feeling as if he should somehow prepare for this excursion. But there was really nothing he could do. With a shrug and a sigh he started after his cousin.

They walked along in silence for a while, just taking in their surroundings. But pretty soon Balki began humming and before long he was singing happily and kicking up the sand in a kind of skipping dance. "Island girl. She make me happy. Island girl. She kind of sassy…"

Larry watched silently, perplexed by his cousin's behavior. Didn't he understand the trouble they were in? Was he as oblivious to their danger as he appeared to be? No, he realized. Balki understood what was going on. He was just choosing not to be upset about it. Larry shook his head slightly and a hint of a smile played on the corner of his mouth. He would never understand how Balki could be so calm in a crisis.

They were complete opposites in many ways. That's why they needed each other.

"Oh, Cousin, look!" Balki stopped and pointed ahead on the shore where a huge flock of seagulls mingled about on the beach. He grabbed Larry by the hand and took off in a dead run, dragging his cousin along.

"What are you doing?!" Larry shouted indignantly, trying to keep up.

"This is fun!" Balki kept running straight toward the birds.

The seagulls seemed unperturbed by their presence until they were practically among them. Then the entire flock burst into flight. The sound of beating wings and white, feathered bodies exploded around them.

Balki laughed and Larry covered his head to shield himself from any unpleasantness that might drop on him from above.

"It's more fun with pigeons." Balki remarked as he watched the seagulls fly a ways before landing on the beach ahead. "Have you ever went to the park when they're…"

Ignoring his cousin's rambling, Larry continued purposefully onward. He had convinced himself that there were other people here and all they had to do was find them. He had grasped that one little thread of hope and held on for dear life. The possibility that they were truly alone was just too dire for his fragile emotions to handle. "We don't have time to play." His voice was serious and resolute. "Once we're rescued you can chase the birds all you want. I don't know about you but I want to get back to civilization."

"I want go home too." Balki sobered as he easily kept pace with his shorter friend. "You think they send our luggage back? Dimitri still is on the ship. I bet he's lonesome all by himself."

Larry sighed and shook his head. All the trouble they were in and Balki was worried about his stuffed sheep! Oh, well. He was certain that any moment they would turn a corner and find a fancy resort hotel, complete with running water and waitresses dressed in hula skirts. The hope that help was just around the bend, kept him moving at a steady pace.

Balki, however, kept a less-than-urgent attitude about their trek. He stopped every now and then to pick up an interesting shell or stone but then would have to hurry to catch up with his cousin who stubbornly refused to stop for him.

"Look this one!" Balki held a shell up in his outstretched hand. Probably the twentieth one he had brought over for his cousin's inspection in the last half hour.

Larry gave it a quick indifferent glance. "Nice."

Balki put his hand to his side and rattled his pocket that was now full of shells. "I think I got enough to make a necklace. I give it to Mary Anne when we get back"

"She'll like that." Somewhere in the back of his mind said: _If we ever get back._ He shook his head, trying to make the thought go away. Being a naturally pessimistic person he had to fight the impulse to give up and say 'we're doomed'. He had to keep reminding himself that there was hope. _There are people here. I know it. There _has _to be!_

Several hours passed as the sandy shore gave way to black stone riddled with tide pools. So far there had been no sign of human occupation, not so much as a candy wrapper.

Balki had watched as his cousin's face gradually changed from hopeful and determined to exhausted and discouraged. He knew all too well that Larry and the outdoors did not get along well. He also noticed that his cousin's pale face was beginning to burn. They had been walking nonstop all day, and Larry had insisted upon quite a brisk pace most of the way, and Balki could tell that his friend could not take much more.

He was about to suggest that they take a break when Larry simply toppled forward. Weather he tripped or simply collapsed Balki wasn't sure but he managed to grab his arm before he fell on his face. But he wasn't quite quick enough to prevent him from scraping a knee on the dark rocks.

"Are you okay?" Balki asked as he helped his cousin regain his footing.

Larry gazed down at the tear in his pants and the bloodied cut underneath. It stung a bit but was not anything serious. "I'm fine."

Before he could start walking again Balki put a firm hand on his shoulder. "Cousin we need to stop."

"Balki, I'm not a little kid. I can handle a skinned knee." There should have been sarcasm to accompany the comment but only fatigue was evident in his voice.

"Cousin, you're exhausted. We need to rest, we need to eat and we need to get out of the sun because you're turning as red as a rubber ball."

Larry managed to straighten his shoulders in a display of determination. "We can't stop. Help could be just around that palm grove." Besides, he was so tired that if he stopped he was afraid he might not be able to start again.

"Well then they won't mind if we stop for a little while and drop our loads off." Balki took him by the hand and began to lead him toward the tree line.

Larry shook his head and made a halfhearted attempt to pull away. "We can't. Balki, what if…"

"Cousin, if you don't get off your feet you're gonna fall on your face. And with that sunburn you got, it would hurt!"

"I'm fine." He protested. They couldn't stop! They had to find help. They had to go home. Once they were home he would crawl into his nice warm bed and never come out again. But until then they had to keep going. "And I don't have a sunburn." He added as an afterthought.

Balki released his cousin's hand and put both hands on his hips. "Is that so is that?"

"Yes."

Balki reached up and gave Larry's cheek a small poke.

"Ow!" His hand shot up to grab the side of his face, then yelped again as he realized it hurt just as much for him to touch it as it did Balki. He sighed in defeat. "Okay, you win. We'll take a short rest. But then we've got to start looking again."

The rocky beach gave way to sand as they entered the palm grove. Coconuts and palm fronds littered the ground, while patchy shadows cast by the treetops gave the forest the look of a tropical quilt. In the cool of the shade they both sat, side by side, leaning against a wide tree trunk.

Larry stared out at the beach, listening to the whisper of the waves, rustling of a gentle breeze in the trees and the twittering of unseen birds. To his surprise he found himself thinking what a soothing sound it was. He was so tired. The unbelievable stress of their predicament, nearly drowning twice, their strenuous trek along the beach and lack of coffee had taken it's toll on him. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to close his eyes just for a moment.

"Wake up, Sleeping Birdie."

At the sound of Balki's voice Larry's eyes snapped open, instantly realizing that he had fallen asleep.

"Feel better?" Balki asked as he sat down beside him. He had taken off his shirt and tied it around his waist, but he still wore his colorful vest. Next to where they both sat was a small pile of prickly, purple balls.

"A little." He was more alert but he still would have given his life savings for one cup of coffee. "What are those?" He asked, pointing to the purple things.

Balki picked lifted one from the pile and held it up. "Street urchins."

"That's _sea_ urchins. And I what I meant is, '_why_ did you collect them'?"

"Well, it's about…" Balki glanced appraisingly at the sun. "three o'clock. I don't know about you but I think it past time for lunch."

Larry stared at the pile of spiny and completely unappetizing-looking things. "You have _got_ to be kidding."

"No. Here, I show you." He pulled his pocket knife out, wedged it against the urchin he held in his hand and cracked the top off like an egg. "You eat the orange part." Balki presented the half shell. Inside were tiny fingers of a gelatinous substance that could have passed for neon orange tapioca amidst brown goo.

Larry clamped a hand over his mouth to suppress a gag. "There is no way I'm eating that!"

Balki frowned at his cousin's finickiness. "Oh, come on, Cousin. You just reach in and…" He demonstrated by scooping out some of the orange stuff with a finger and presented it to Larry. It had the wet smell of day old fish.

He waved the offer away vigorously with both hands. "Balki, I would rather starve _to death_ than put that in my mouth."

"Oh, pookch!" Balki jerked his head slightly to one side, as if literally spitting the word. "Is no that bad."

"Sure." Larry said with a sarcastic nod. "I suppose it tastes like chicken."

"Of course not, don' be ridiculous. Is kind of like raw fish. Mr. Pong down the street use it to make suzuki."

"That's 'sushi'. And I hate sushi."

"But you should eat something before we start walking again." Again he tried to hand it to him and again Larry waved him away.

"Forget it. There is nothing you could possibly say or do that would induce me to eat something that looks and smells like that."

Balki let out a small, irritated snort. Sometimes his cousin could be so stubborn, generally to his own detriment. Oh well, he would eat when he got hungry enough.

"Besides. How do you know all about fishing and…" He gestured toward the small pile of sea urchins. "…stuff. I thought you were a shepherd."

Much to Larry's revulsion, Balki popped some of the orange stuff in his mouth before answering. "I was a sheepherder. But my uncle Philo is a fisher. And every year since I am ten years old Mama send me to the west side of Mypos for two months for the fast season, because he got no sons to help him when there is so much work. When I am there he teach me everything about the ocean. When work is over we would take long walks on the beach and he point at something and saying 'Balki, what that?'. And I have to tell him a name and what is good for." A soft smile played on his mouth and he sighed, obviously reveling in the memories. Then he straightened a bit, shaking of the nostalgia. "Of course, not everything the same is here." He made a small gesture indicating their surroundings. "But some things are." Balki picked up another urchin and popped the top of the shell off. "Are you sure you don' want…"

"No."

"But you should eat something." Balki reached over grabbed a fallen coconut from the sand and tossed it to his cousin.

Larry turned the thing over in his hands and shook his head. "You need a machete to get the husk off of these things. And I don't think your pocket knife would do the trick."

Balki looked at coconut thoughtfully. "I bet if you banged it on a rock long enough you might could get it off."

"Well, I don't have time to sit around banging a nut on a rock." With that he tossed it over his shoulder where it landed with a soft 'thunk' in the sand. "Now, come on. We need to get going." He pushed himself to his feet and winced. His entire body was stiff and sore. The nap had given all those little aches and pains he'd given himself, from swimming for his life that morning and marching all day long, time to assert themselves. He stretched, trying to make them go away, but that just seemed to make them worse. Larry gave a small sigh, after he and Balki's experience at the gym this was nothing!

Balki stood as well. "But you don't eat anything yet."

Larry started down the beach, knowing his cousin would follow. "Balki, I went without lunch from fourth grade clear into high school. I think I can manage."

The Mypiot glanced at the pile of uneaten sea urchins, wishing there was something he could carry them in. It seemed like a waste. With a small shrug of resignation he hurried after Larry. "Why you did go without lunch? Don't your mama make it for you?"

"Sure she did. Mom was a great cook and that was part of the problem."

Balki cocked his head questioningly.

"Every mourning, like clockwork, Tim Russ, Russell Johnson and Frank Sutton would catch me at my locker, shove me in it and take my lunch. If it wasn't for the janitor I would have spent my entire childhood in that dumb locker." He smiled a bit and gave a small chuckle. "You know that's one of the few times I was grateful I wasn't tall."

"Oh, Cousin! That was so nice of you to share with those who are less fortunate than you."

One side of Larry's face pinched slightly. It annoyed him that Balki would take pity on his tormenters. "No. They didn't do it because they were poor or hungry. Their parents gave them money to buy lunch. They did it because they were bigger and meaner than me and apparently I was fun to pick on."

Balki frowned. "Well, that's not nice at all! Why you didn't tell your parents? Maybe they could make you two lunches."

Larry gave a small scoffing laugh. "Tell my dad? He would have thought I was the biggest wuss on the planet and he would have told me that I was an Appleton and I should be able handle it myself."

Balki's forehead creased in a thoughtful frown as he mulled the whole thing over. He just couldn't understand how anybody could think it was fun to be mean to someone else. It just didn't compute. After a long moment he turned to Larry. "Question."

"Yes?"

"What is a 'wuss'?"

Around about evening they were still walking although neither had been able to keep the hurried pace Larry had set when they started. Their conversation had wandered around everything from shepherding techniques to why women wear heels and finally descended into an exchange of jokes.

"…and so the chicken says to the carrot farmer 'I'll see you at the bridge'!" After delivering the punch line Balki burst into laughter. He got to laughing so hard he nearly fell over and put an arm around his cousin's shoulders for balance.

Larry just watched him with an amused grin. He had discovered that all Myposian jokes involved some kind of barnyard animal and that none of them were even remotely funny. He wondered if Mypiots just had a strange sense of humor or the jokes simply didn't translate well.

After Balki had regained his composure, still wiping a tear of mirth from his eye, he turned to Larry. "Your turn."

He thought about it for a moment, then nodded. "Okay. There was a blonde, a brunette and a redhead and they were…"

"Hey Cousin." Balki stopped abruptly, his eyes riveted on the jungle to their left.

"What?"

"I got an idea. See that tree? See how it's higher than the rest?"

Larry turned and followed Balki's gaze inland. One large palm rose far above its peers, it's top standing alone against the clear blue sky. "Yeah. What about it?"

"I bet from up there we could see how big the island is and if there are any people."

"That is a great idea, buddy!" He gave Balki a brisk slap on the back and started into the palm grove. When they reached the tree in question Larry couldn't help but be awed at the actual size of the thing. It had to be at least fifty feet tall. Just thinking about being up that high made him a bit dizzy. He gave his cousin a gentle shove. "Okay, Balki, up you go."

As Balki looked up at the task before him he wondered if he should have kept his mouth shut. "Why you don't go?" He asked, more for the sake of argument than anything.

"Because I'm afraid of heights and the last time I climbed a tree I fell out and broke my arm. Now come on. The sooner you get up there the sooner we can get home."

Balki handed Larry his shoes and without another word he started up the tree. Balki had climbed many a tree in his lifetime, but all of the trees on Mypos had branches of some sort and never grew so tall.

Larry watched as Balki shimmied up the trunk, at first thinking what a great lookout it was. He could surely see something from up there. But as his cousin rose higher, thirty, forty feet, he started to get a little nervous. A fall from that height could… "Balki, be careful!"

"I am." Came Balki's reply right before his grip weakened and he nearly fell backwards.

Larry gasped as he felt his heart jump. "Are you okay?!" He called up to Balki who had slid down a few feet before catching himself and was now clinging to the trunk with a death grip.

"I…think so. Aside from fiction burns on my thighs."

"I _told_ you to be _careful_!" Larry shouted, his fear suddenly turning to irritation.

"I was being careful until you detracted me!"

"I'm sorry." Larry sighed. "Balki, this is too dangerous. Come on down!"

"Who are you, Bob Barker?" Balki let out a sharp laugh. "Where do I come _up—_"

Larry's eyes widened in horror, knowing all too well the hands-to-heaven gesture that always came with that phrase. "BALKI, DON'T LET GO!!"

His cousin's sharp order barely stopped him from making a potentially fatal mistake. Balki took in a sharp breath and hugged the tree tighter, realizing what he had nearly done.

Larry ran a hand through his hair, trying to slow his breathing down. He looked up and thought that Balki looked awful small way up there. He didn't dare imagine what it was like looking _down_. "Balki, come down, now."

Balki looked up to the crown of the tree that was no more than ten feet above his head. "But I'm so close!" Sure he was a bit scared but he hated to quit when he was so near his goal.

"No. That's enough. It's too high. You're gonna fall."

Despite Larry's demand Balki inched a little ways higher. "I'm almost there. I got only just a little ways more."

Larry wrung his hands anxiously. "This was a bad idea. If you get hurt we can't-"

"Cousin, I'm fine." He was moving slower and more deliberately. "I'm being careful."

"That's what you said a minute ago!"

"No. Really. I'm okay." Just as he said that he reached the base of the crown. He grabbed a big handful of palm fronds and hauled himself onto the very top of the tree. A couple of coconuts, knocked free by Balki's foot sailed down to land with a hard 'thunk' a little too close for Larry's comfort.

"Watch it!"

"Wwoww!" He could barely hear Balki exclaim from his tall perch.

"What can you see?"

"Everything. I can see the whole island from up here! Is no very big. Maybe three miles across."

"Can you see any people or buildings?"

"No."

"What about a dock? Or maybe a boat?"

"No I don't….Wait! I see something!"

Larry felt a surge of hope rise up inside him. "What? What is it?!"

"Something orange just a little ways up the beach. I think it's a couple of life jackets. They must have wash up from the life boat."

"I don't _care_ about our life jackets. Do you see any signs of civilization. _Anything_?" Larry could feel the panic coming again. He had been so sure they would find help.

"Nothing. Just trees and sand and water."

"Are you sure? Look harder!"

"Cousin, I tell you 'that's it'!"

Larry sighed in defeat and leaned his head up against the palm tree. This couldn't be happening. "Alright. Climb down before you fall down."

Balki took one last look around him. It was such a beautiful view. He wouldn't mind just sitting there for a while, enjoying the scenery and letting the soft breeze blow through his hair. But with a touch of melancholy he started down. Once again he grabbed several secure fronds to lower himself down to the trunk, but as he did so he knocked another coconut loose. There was a sharp rustling that he couldn't account for and then a:

'klunk'

"Aaah!"

Balki tried to see what had happened but he couldn't quite turn his head far enough to see directly below. "Cousin? Was that you?" The only answer he received was a weak moan. Sliding down was much easier than climbing up and in moments Balki was at the base of the tree.

He found Larry was sitting in the sand, his upper body bent forward with his head cradled in both hands. Both eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth held a tight grimace.

Balki put a gentle hand on his friend's back. "Are you okay?"

"No!" Larry hissed, not bothering to look up.

"Oh, Cousin." Balki kneeled down beside him and spoke softly. "I know you're upset, but we'll—"

"Balki, you hit me in the head with this!!" Larry grabbed the coconut laying beside him and shoved it into Balki's arms so hard it nearly knocked the wind out of him. Had his cousin been any further away he would have threw it at him. He blinked hard, trying to make all the little flashing lights go away.

Balki looked at the object skeptically. "Cousin, it's just a coconut."

Larry glared at him, his eyes wide and disbelieving . " 'Just a coconut'? '_Just_ a coconut'?! Balki, that thing weighs at least five pounds! I feel like my head's going to explode."

Balki frowned a bit, looking more perplexed than worried. "But I watch Gilligan's Island every week and they never hurt the Skipper."

"Balki, when are you going to get it through your head? We are not on Gilligan's Island! Any object falling from that height is going to hurt. I'm lucky I don't have a concussion. In fact if it hadn't hit that other palm tree first it probably would have killed me!"

Balki flinched slightly at that last statement. "I'm sorry."

The pain faded and Larry lowered his hands. "It's okay. You didn't mean to."

"It really hurts that bad?" Balki reached over and touched the top of his cousin's head.

"Ow!" Larry instantly slapped his hand away. "Yes, _yes_ it hurts that bad!"

"I'm sorry." Balki said again, dipping his head slightly. After a long moment of silence he spoke up again. "So, what we are going do now?

With a small grunt of effort Larry rose to his feet. He wobbled for a brief moment. The bonk on his head had left him a bit lightheaded. He determinedly shook it off. "We keep walking."

Balki didn't move. "Why?"

"We've got to keep looking. There still might be people here."

The young immigrant frowned deeply. "But I tell you I don' see anything."

Larry shrugged and started walking. "You could have missed something."

Balki got up and trailed his friend. "Cousin, my vision is in it's twenties. I didn't miss anything."

Larry stopped, and faced Balki. "Are you absolutely, positively, one hundred percent, beyond a shadow of a doubt sure that you didn't miss anything?"

Balki blinked rapidly for a moment before replying. "I'm not even that sure my name is Balki. But I'm as sure as humanely possible."

"That's what I thought. Now let's go."

--

The sun was getting low in the sky and Balki was beginning to wonder if they would ever stop walking. He carried the two lifejackets they had found, slung over his shoulder. He thought they might be able to use them for something. As they trudged on he let his mind wander. He thought of home, of their friends. He wondered if anybody had told Jennifer and Mary Anne they were missing yet. He hoped they didn't worry.

"Balki! Look!"

Larry's sudden shout brought him back to the present. He followed his cousin's gesture to the beach ahead. Right next to a fallen palm tree was a noticeable black patch in the sand.

Larry broke into a run with Balki following close behind. "Somebody's built a fire! See, Balki? I told you there was people here!"

Balki's momentary surge of excitement drained and he slowed as he came closer.

Larry knelt beside the charred remains, elation on his round face. "It's still warm. It's not that old."

Balki let out a deep sigh and his whole body sagged. "Cousin…"

"All we have to do is wait for who ever built this to come back and then…"

"Cousin, listen to me." The grave tone in the Mypiot's voice caught Larry's attention.

He looked up. "What?"

"Cousin…" He paused for a long moment, barely able to say it. "Cousin, that's our fire."

Larry's dark eyebrows came together, his mouth dropped slightly and his eyes widened. Had he heard right? "What?"

"That's our fire." He repeated. "Look." He pointed to the small stream that trickled out of the jungle a few feet away, then to the fallen palm tree and finally to the two sets of fish bones that lay beside the old fire.

"What?" This time the word was more an exclamation of disbelief than an actual question.

Balki lowered himself into the sand, leaning against the log.

"B-but that means that we circled the entire island."

"Yep."

"And we didn't find anything. Nobody."

"Nope."

Larry brought a shaky hand up to his face. "Ow!"

"What?"

"My sunburn still hurts. Balki, what are going to do?" He threw both hands out imploringly.

The young Mypiot shrugged helplessly. "Just wait, I guess."

"We can't just wait! Every minute we're in danger of exposure, heat stroke, and who knows what kind of diseases these bugs carry." He swatted at one of the insects in question. "We're gonna die out here."

"Don't say that!" Balki put a firm hand on his friend's shoulder. "You know what Captain Taggert always says:" He lowered his voice and gave it a bit of a gruff edge to match that of the starship captain. " 'Never give up. Never surrender!'"

Larry gave him a sharp glare. "Balki, quoting cheap tv isn't going to help us get rescued."

"Well, moping around ain't gonna help either. Remember the rescue party?"

"Get real, Balki. I mean, think about it. We drifted for two days. We could be a couple hundred miles from where we fell overboard! What are the chances?"

Balki pushed himself to his feet and dusted himself off. "Well, I don't know, Cousin. But I'm not going to sit here like a steak in the mud. I'm going to go catch some fish for dinner while you…" He reached into his pocket, pulled out the lighter and tossed it to Larry. "…make a fire." With that he started toward the water.

Larry stared at the lighter in his hands for a long time. Finally his fingers tightened around it. Balki was right. They couldn't give up. There had to be a way. They needed a plan! The momentary optimism, however, was quickly diluted by that ever-present doubt that churned his stomach.

_No,_ he thought. _What I really need is some antacid._


	10. Boochi Tag

**10. Boochi Tag**

"Wwoww!" Balki stared with wide-eyed awe at the sunset. Swirls of peach and purple filled the sky, lighter around the tiny sliver of a sun on the horizon and darkening to an indigo blue overhead where a few assertive stars cried for attention. "Isn't that the most beautiful thing you ever put your eyes on?" There was no answer and he turned to his cousin.

Larry stared blankly into the fire. He wrung his hands absently and his jaw muscles pulsed. Balki could see the fear and anxiety in his friend's face.

"You know, this reminds me of the vacations my family used to take on Mypos. We would get up early in the morning and pack the oxcart. Then the whole family would meet at the crossroads and we would caravan thirty miles to the beach. We would set up camp on the sand and we would all swim and play in the ocean. When it got dark we would build a big fire and Mama would cook while Yaya told stories." He smiled fondly at the memory. "Mama used to say food tastes better when cooked on the beach.

"But the best part was after dinner when all of us joined in a big game of Boochi tag. Everyone played, even Mama and Yaya. We all had so much fun, just running and playing…" Balki looked over at his cousin to gauge his reaction

"I know exactly what you're getting at and forget it." Larry huffed irritably, still not taking his eyes off the fire. "I'm _not_ in the mood to play any childish Myposian game. I've got to come up with a plan to get us rescued."

Undaunted by his cousin's vehement disinterest Balki reached over and with his index finger and casually tapped Larry on the top of his head. "You're _it_." A mischievous grin crawled across his face. He leaned close to his cousin's ear and whispered. "Boochi, boochi, boochi."

Larry cocked his head slightly in Balki's direction and glared at him out of the corner of his eye. "I'm...not...playing." He said seriously, drawing out each word.

"Well then you'll just have to be _it_ for the rest of your life." Balki said matter-of-factly, knowing this bait had worked before.

"I think I can live with that." Larry said, rising and crossing to the pile of firewood. "I have a feeling that being 'it' will not, in any way, affect the quality of my life." He picked up a couple of pieces of driftwood and tossed them on the fire.

"Oh, I don't know, Cousin." Balki said, trying to sound serious. "Do you think you can handle the constant taunting?" His smile slid slyly back in place. "Boooochi, boochi, boochi."

"Sticks and stones may break my bones." Larry retorted, poking at the flames with a long stick as if the action served a useful purpose.

Balki's eyes widened, wondering at how quickly the conversation seemed to have U-turned. "Uuuh, this is true. But I don't see how that relates in any way to you're being it."

Larry gave a long-suffering groan and moved over to Balki. He had a feeling his cousin was not going to let up. "_That_ has nothing to do with it. Because..." He placed what appeared to be a friendly hand on his cousin's shoulder then leaped suddenly away. "...I'm no longer it!"

Surprised delight exploded across Balki's face as he sprang to his feet. Larry ran around to the other side of the fire, keeping the flames between him and his cousin. "Boochi, boochi, boochi." He said smugly. Balki moved to the left and Larry sidestepped to the right, circling the fire several times. The stalking movement and the dancing orange firelight made them look like pacing tigers. Without warning Balki leaped over the small fire tagged his cousin and ran several feet before turning and throwing the 'boochi' taunt. Larry chased him a ways then made a wild leap, catching Balki around the ankles and sending them both crashing into the sand.

"You're it!" Larry cried triumphantly. But before he could even get out the first 'boochi' Balki gave him a gentle slap on the cheek and was up and running again.

"Not anymore!" Balki said shouted triumphantly as he raced away from the fire toward the grove of palm trees that skirted the beach.

Larry leaped up and followed him. They reached the tree line and Balki dodged behind the nearest palm and peeked out from behind it. "Boochi, boochi, boochi!"

"Ha!" Larry yelled as he thrust a hand toward Balki, only to have him dodge to the other side of the tree. He tried again, jabbing a hand toward his cousin, and again Balki jerked out of the way, using the tree as a shield. This repeated itself several more times. Then suddenly Larry let out a sharp pained cry and grabbed his hand.

Balki was instantly at his side. "What's wrong?"

"I think I got a sliver from this tree."

"Maybe I can get it out." Balki offered. "Where is it?"

"There." Larry said, holding his hand up for his cousin's inspection.

Balki frowned and took Larry's hand and brought it close to his face. "Where?"

"There!" Larry brought his hand up and tapped Balki on the end of his nose. He leaped back with a victorious laugh. "Boochi, boochi, boochi!"

Balki looked confused for a moment before realization dropped his jaw. "You tricked Balki!"

"You bet!" Larry shouted as he bolted back toward the fire. By the time he reached it he was breathing hard. He turned back hoping he could dodge his cousin's attack instead of out-running it. Balki, realizing his plan went into a stalking crouch that looked so silly it started Larry laughing. Balki stayed low to the ground as he advanced; ready to spring whichever way his cousin began to move. But Larry could scarcely stand he was laughing so hard. All he could do was take a step back for every one Balki advanced. The next step sent him tumbling backwards over the log of driftwood. He landed on his back in the soft sand, which made him laugh even harder.

Balki grinned. He knew he had him and moved in slowly.

"No wait!" Larry managed to say through the giggles and gasps for breath. "Wait, it's not fair."

"On Mypos we have a saying." The immigrant said smugly. " 'Bonki yiko smoochi konko miko Boochi'. It says: 'All's fair in love and Boochi Tag.'" As he stepped over the log his foot caught on it for scarcely a moment. But it was enough to throw him off balance and send him sprawling in the sand beside his cousin.

They both burst into complete hysteria, feeding off one another's laughter until tears streamed down their cheeks and their sides ached. After a few moments it died down to a few sparse chuckles and ended with one synchronized sigh.

They lay there for a long while, side by side gazing into the now ebony sky, the softly lapping waves and the crackling fire the only addition to the companionable silence.

"Look at that!" Larry finally whispered. The awed reverence in his voice was unmistakable.

"What?"

"Look at the stars."

"Which ones?"

"All of them. There are so many!"

"You bet your bibibabkas! I tried to count them one night while sleeping out with the flock. I got to three thousand four hundred and twenty five before I lost count."

"I've never really stopped to look before."

Balki turned his head to gaze at his cousin in surprise. "You've never see the stars?"

"Oh, I've _seen_ them. But…" He gave a soft shrug and turned to Balki. "…I've never really _looked_. You know what I mean?"

Balki's face turned serious. "That's sad Cousin. Although, I guess I can understand. There aren't as many stars in America as there are on Mypos."

Larry propped himself up on his elbow. "what do you mean?"

"Well, back home we have stars like this." He made a wide gesture encompassing the twinkling sky. "But when I come to America everywhere I am going, New York, Chicago, Madison Wisconson, when I look up at night there are hardly any stars.

"That's because—"

"You know why I think that is?" Balki rolled onto his side and copied his cousin's posture, propping himself up on one arm. "On Mypos the stars make it light at night so travelers can see. But in America there are lights everywhere and people can see fine at night. So the stars go someplace else where they are more needed."

Larry smiled softly at the explanation. For someone who didn't know the science involved Balki had come fairly close to the truth. "Chicago may not have many stars but it's home."

Balki nodded. They both sat quietly for awhile, both thinking of home.

Larry heaved a sad sigh. "Chicago…I wonder if we will ever see it again."

"Of course we will, don' be ridiculous!" Balki just couldn't understand why his cousin was so negative. In all his experiences things had always turned out for the good. He had had a wonderful, tranquil life on Mypos. And then he was able to move to America and had been so generously taken in by his cousin who had quickly become the best friend he had ever had. He now had a job that not only allowed him to work side by side with his cousin but it also paid minimum wage! Even when things went wrong, like their ski trip, everything always ended happily. After all, they had a grand old adventure and they had the chance to get to know the girls better. Everything would be fine with this problem too. They had plenty of food and water so all they had to do was wait to be rescued. He didn't know when that was going to happen but he was sure it would be soon.

Larry frowned a bit. He didn't understand his cousin at all. Larry was a realest. He saw things the way they were and didn't try to sugar coat reality. He wanted hope as much as the next guy and would hold onto it as long as he could and he would, of course try his hardest to produce a good outcome. But when things were hopeless there was nothing he could do but admit defeat. But his cousin just didn't get it. It seemed that Balki was always looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. No matter what they went through he always saw something good in it. He was always convinced that everything would turn out for the better. Larry knew better. His life had always been hectic and riddled with disappointments and failures. They were going to come and you couldn't change that. So why did Balki insist on deluding himself with false hope? "Balki, I don't understand how you can be so optimistic."

Balki smiled a bit self-consciously. "I don't mean to brag but I did pass my eye exam with fading colors."

Larry shook his head at the misinterpretation. "I mean how can you be so positive when our odds of getting rescued are around a million to one?"

"Well at least that's a little odd. A million to one is better than a million to none."

He supposed Balki was right about that. A small chance was better than no chance at all. But their chance of rescue seemed microscopic to him. "Balki, I have been racking my brain for hours now and I haven't been able to come up with a way to get us safely off here."

Balki sat up and yawned. "That's because you're tired." He reached over, grabbed both life jackets and handed one to Larry who stared down at it in confusion. "We've had a tough day." He set his in the sand, lay back down and rested his head on it.

Larry followed his lead and lay down in the soft sand using his life preserver as a pillow.

"Just relax and let Princess Riva take you away. Tomorrow we'll think of something." Balki closed his eyes and shifted a bit to get more comfortable, obviously ready to get some sleep.

Larry sighed. Maybe everything would seem better tomorrow. "Goodnight, Balki."

Balki didn't open his eyes as he replied: "Goodnight, Wednesday."


	11. Rocks and Fish

**11. Rocks and Fish**

"Cousin. Cousin wake up. You've got to see this!"

The first thing Larry noticed as he was so rudely awakened was that he felt gritty. There was sand everywhere, in his hair, in his ears, in his mouth and worst of all in his underwear. To say the least it was not a pleasant sensation. The next thing he noticed was something trying to drill into his cheek and it hurt. He lifted his head slightly and looked down. It was fairly dark but he was able to make out what the problem was. He had been sleeping on the plastic buckle of his life vest. Gently fingering his still sunburned face he could feel the impression where the buckle had pressed against his skin. He also realized he was in bad need of a shave.

"Come on, get up." Balki shook him urgently, excitement bubbling in his voice. "Rise and be shiny. This is important!"

Larry groaned and pushed himself up. There was a glow around the horizon but it was still a long while until daylight. "Balki, are you going to make a habit of waking me up before sunrise?"

"Look!" Balki stabbed a finger straight out to sea.

Larry followed the gesture. "What?"

"Do you see the lights?"

"Lights?" He squinted into the fading darkness wondering if his cousin was going island happy. Then suddenly he saw them, just on the edge of the horizon; two small dots of light, a red one and a blue one. They were moving in synchrony ever so slowly from left to right. "It's a boat."

"Are they coming to pick us up?"

Larry shook his head with growing hope. "No. They're heading for the other island." He turned suddenly to Balki. "Do you know what that means?!"

"They're on a three hour tour?"

"It means that there are people _there_! It means we can still be rescued!"

Balki gave his cousin a brisk slap on the back. "See, I told you not to give up hope."

"All we've got to do is figure out a way to get over there."

Balki stared intently at the island in the faintly growing light, trying to judge the distance. "I could maybe swim that far."

Larry turned abruptly to his cousin in surprise, startled by the dire risk involved in his cousin's offhanded suggestion. "No way! That's got to be at least ten miles of open ocean. You'd never make it."

Balki smiled a bit and gave a small shrug. "I don't mean to blow my own nose, but I am a very good swimmer. I won second place in the sheep stroke at the 1979 Myposian Olympics."

Larry shook his head emphatically. "Absolutely not. Forget it. I won't let you do it. It's too dangerous." His tone left no room for argument.

Balki let out an imperceptible sigh of relief. Truth be told it was a very long way and the thought of the undertaking frightened him. But he had felt obligated to voice it as an option.

"Besides, if anything was to happen to you where would that leave me? Being shipwrecked is one thing. Being shipwrecked _alone_ is on a whole other level of disaster. No, we'll have to think of something else." Larry's forehead creased in concentration.

"Well," Balki said with a smile. "There's more than one way to sheer a sheep."

Larry snapped his fingers triumphantly. "We'll build a boat!"

"A boat?" Balki asked, looking quite unsure of the idea.

"Sure. Strap a few logs together..." He gave a small shrug. "How hard can it be?"

"I don't know, Cousin. If the Professor, a guy with three esp's can't build a decent boat from things on an island…"

"That's 'phd's'. And the Professor couldn't build a boat because then they would all be rescued and that would have been the end of the show! Now, as soon as it gets light we'll go out and look for some wood."

Later that morning, after a thorough search they learned that there were three types of wood on their little island: Palm trees, miscellaneous brush and driftwood. The palm trees were simply too big and heavy for either of them to make use of, and with Balki's pocket knife as their only tool there was no way to cut them into a more manageable size. Brush was simply out of the question. The only thing it was good for was kindling. And the available driftwood wasn't much better. The biggest pieces they could find were about as big around as a bowling ball but none were long enough to serve any useful purpose besides firewood.

Building a raft was no longer an option.

"We've got to come up with another plan." Larry said determinedly as he took another bite of coconut. It turns out they were a bit easier to open than he had previously thought.

He stared hard at the island in the distance. Now he truly understood the meaning of the saying 'so close and yet so far'.

Balki sat in the sand, using the log as a worktable as he tried to drill holes in the shells he had collected with his pocket knife. It wasn't working too well and he had already had a cut on his index finger, but he resolutely kept at it. "If we had a bottle and some paper we could send them a note and tell them we're a couple of poor unfortunate souls and need somebody to come get us."

Larry rolled his eyes at the suggestion. "Then I suppose Haley Mills is supposed to come and rescue us? Even if we had a bottle and paper it wouldn't work."

Balki looked up from his craft project. "Why not?"

He gave his cousin a condescending smirk. "No stamp." After a moment his face alit in revelation. "But we _could_ write a note where they might see it."

The young immigrant glanced at him quizzically. "Where that would be?"

"On the beach! We'll write it big enough so that if a boat comes close enough or a plane flies over they'll have to see it. We can make the letters out of those black rocks." He gestured vaguely down the beach toward the small ridge of volcanic stone that stood in the distance.

"Cousin, that's a great idea! Now, lets see, we need something simple and to the point." Balki tapped his chin thoughtfully. "How about 'if anyone happens to fly over and reads this, please rescue us because we're stranded and want to go home'?"

Larry gave his cousin a long look before saying: "How about 'help'?"

"That would work too."

--

"Alright. You're doing good. We're almost there. Just a little ways more. Keep coming."

Balki carried a large rock in his arms while Larry directed him with exaggerated gestures to their nearly finished 'H'.

"Cousin, I've been thinking." Balki stopped as he reached his cousin, obviously struggling to hold on to his burden.

"Yes?"

"Why it is that I'm doing all the work and you are just stand there and talk. I don't need directions, you know. "

Larry shook his head. "Balki, Balki, Balki. With any team project there has to be order. There's the management." He put a hand on his chest, indicating himself. "And the workers." He gestured to Balki.

"Why I can't be a magnate for a while?"

"Because I'm the one with the bad back."

With a defeated sigh Balki let the rock drop along side the other ones.

"Gaaaa!" Larry leaped back grabbed one bare foot in both hands and hopped around in a little circle.

Balki took in a dismayed gasp and clamped both hands over his mouth. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Larry suddenly dropped his foot, stood up straight, gave Balki a devious smirk and said: "Gotcha."

Balki let out an indignant huff. "That's not funny! I thought I broke your foot."

His smug grin quickly turned to curious frown. "Hey, look."

Balki turned. There, in the gentle surf, something large and white turned in the waves.

"It's the canvas from the boat." Larry decided as he started toward the water.

Moments later they came out of the water, wet up to the waist, pulling the large cloth up onto the beach. It turned out to be quite useful to their project. They were able to pile several rocks onto the canvas at once and, working together, pulled it to the work site.

Only about an hour later they were finished. Both Balki and Larry stood with hands on hips admiring the twenty-foot letters.

"Looks pretty good if I do say so myself." Larry rubbed a shoulder absently. The work had left him a bit sore. "They won't be able to miss that."

"Well," Balki cocked his head, appraising. "knowing me, knowing you, it's the best we can do."

"Now all we have to do is wait." Larry turned and stared out to sea toward the island as if he expected a boat or plane to appear any second. After a minute or two Balki clamped a hand on his shoulder making him jump.

"I got an idea for what we can do while we wait. Come, I teach you to fish."

Larry laughed at the suggestion. "Me, catch fish with my hands? I'd never be able to do that."

"Oh, come on, Cousin. It's so easy a caveman can do it!"

---

"Balki, we've been at this for an hour now. I don't think I'm going to get the hang of it." They stood waist deep in the gently lapping surf. Balki stood directly behind his cousin, looking over his shoulder and gently guiding his hands through the water.

"Romacos was not built in a day." The Mypiot said matter-of-factly. "It was built in three."

"I'm not fast enough."

"Just, keep trying. You'll get hung soon."

"That's comforting."

"Here comes another one!" Balki whispered urgently as a foot long fish swam casually in their direction. "No, just move your hands. Don' take a step or you'll scare him."

Larry held his breath as he allowed Balki to guide his hands so they were hovering on either side of the fish. He felt excitement build up inside him. He was so close! He might just catch this one. "Now?" He whispered so faintly he had barely heard himself.

"Not yet. Make your horses wait."

What could he possibly be waiting for?

"Now! Grab him!"

In an instant Larry brought his hands together. To his complete shock and elation he felt something slick and scaly struggling in his grip. "I caught it!" He laughed in disbelief as he brought his hands up with a splash, triumphantly displaying the flailing fish. "Balki, I did it! Look at that. Ha _ha_!"

"You did it!" Balki applauded enthusiastically, sharing the excitement of his cousin's victory. He clamped a firm hand around Larry's shoulders. "See? What I did tell you?"

Larry turned to Balki, still laughing. "I can't believe I did this!"

"Now all you gotta do is konk him on the head and cook him up."

"I never thought fishing could be so much fun!" It had given him such a rush he could hardly contain it. "Here." He handed the fish to Balki who took it with a rather puzzled expression. "I want to see if I can catch one by myself."

Smiling at his friend's enthusiasm, he gave him an encouraging slap on the back that practically sent him face first into the water, before sloshing up onto the beach. He laid Larry's very first fish out on the nearest rock and sat down to watch. Larry made several failed attempts but to Balki's surprise it did nothing to dampen his confidence. He was so glad that Larry was finally allowing himself to forget their predicament for a little while and have some fun.

"Hey, Balki, you should see this fish!" Larry hollered up from the water. "It's pink with dark strips and has these crazy fins. It's not very fast. I think I can catch it."

Balki's leaped to his feet with a sudden gasp. "Not that fish!"

Larry was either too absorbed in what he was doing to hear his cousin's warning or was simply ignoring it.

Balki took off toward the water as fast as he could. "Cousin, stop! Not that fish!"

"I've almost got it!"

He splashed right up to his cousin and gave him a firm smack upside the head.

"Ow! Hey!"

"What the matter with you is?! Have you gone stork and raven mad? I said not that fish!"

"It's just a fish." Larry said, looking extremely irritated.

"Cousin, those fins got spikes on them! You grab that fish and your hands swell up like baboons and burn like a ring of fire, you get a headache, you throw up and you feel like babasticki for hours."

Larry's eyes widened and he instinctively pulled his hands out of the water. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Balki rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh. "Talking to you is like talking to a chicken. They got ears, but do they listen?"

Larry suddenly cocked his head, something else suddenly catching his attention. "Do you hear something?"

"See what I mean? I rest my face!"

"Balki, listen!"

A strange whirring sound rose above the gently ripping water. They both looked around in confusion for a moment until Larry took in a loud breath and shouted:

"It's a helicopter!"


	12. A Simple Mistep

**12. A Simple Misstep **

"They're coming!" Larry shouted, throwing his arms around his cousin, laughing in giddy relief. "They're coming for us!"

With a celebratory clap Balki threw his arms wide. "Now we are so happy, we do the Dance of Joy!"

Larry enthusiastically joined in the lively Myposian dance, splashing the warm tropical water high. He ended by leaping into his cousin's arms.

After setting Larry back down they both burst into a frenzy of shouting and waving. Balki untied his shirt from around his waist and brandished it energetically.

The helicopter grew larger as it neared the island, still high in the blue sky.

Larry's elation soon grew into puzzlement. "Why aren't they slowing down?"

The aircraft appeared to be rising higher instead of descending as it should be. What were they doing? As it came closer it continued to gain altitude until it was just a small spot directly above their heads.

Both of them continued to shout and try to catch the pilot's attention but the helicopter refused to change its course.

"Wait! Come back!" Larry abruptly splashed out of the water, chasing the aircraft inland, into the palm grove. He no matter how hard and fast he ran he knew there was no possible way he could keep up but he had to try. They had to see him. They couldn't leave! But they did.

"No!" Larry finally stopped running, panting heavily, watching in despair as the helicopter flew on over the treetops, soon disappearing from view. A small sob escaped him as he sank to his knees, still staring upward.

Balki came up behind him and laid a gentle had on his shoulder.

Larry shook his head, his eyes wide in complete horror and hopelessness. "They didn't even see us." He whimpered.

Balki's voice betrayed his own worry as he tried to keep some kind of hope alive. "Maybe…maybe they are in a hurry. They might saw us but can't stop. They could come back."

"How could they miss it?" His voice rose in pitch until he was on the verge of tears. "The sign was right there!"

"But, Cousin they could have—"

"Are they blind?!"

"Well, maybe—"

"I can't believe they just left us!"

Balki hated to see his cousin so despondent. Yes they were in deep babasticki and they had reason to be worried. But the complete grief and hopelessness he saw in his friend worried him more than their predicament. All he wanted to do was make him feel better. He realized that there was no reasoning with Larry. Not now anyway. Maybe he could change the subject.

"Don't think about it. Think about something else, something happy. Think about…think about Jennifer."

The name had an instant affect on him. He relaxed a bit as images of the love of his life flashed through his mind. "Jennifer." He sighed with a far off look. "She's so beautiful." From the very moment he laid eyes on her he knew that she was the woman he wanted to marry. But never in a million years did he really believe that someone as wonderful as Jennifer Lyons could ever be interested in _him_, Larry Appleton, short and nerdy. It was a dream come true. She was perfect in every way; so beautiful, kind, thoughtful and _forgiving_. After the whole ski trip thing he had been sure she would never speak to him again. But she did! He took that as a very good sign. Maybe she really did like him as much as he liked her. He sighed again, imagining Jennifer standing beside him at the altar, her wedding dress glowing like fresh fallen snow and golden hair framing her lovely face in a shimmering halo.

The heavenly vision popped like a balloon at the sound of a bird calling overhead. His face suddenly fell. "I...I'll never see her again."

"Of course you will." Balki insisted, trying to stop Larry's obvious decent into depression.

"Balki I am in _love_ with her. I was going to marry her! I was going to have a family and kids and, and now...now...I'm gonna die a lonely old man on a deserted island!"

"Don't talk like that! They'll come back."

Larry shook his head in despair. "Wake up and smell the seawater! They flew right over our heads and still didn't see us. There is no way we'll ever get off here."

"No, Cousin!" Balki said firmly. "We have to believe that..."

"Believing the impossible isn't going to make it happen!" Larry shouted. "Stop being such a Pollyanna. You live in this little fantasy world where everything is simple and every story has a happy ending. Well, that's not life! Everything doesn't always work out. Face it, Balki! We're going to be stranded on this forsaken island for the rest of our lives."

"But I was just trying..."

"Well don't try. We wouldn't even be in this mess if _you_ hadn't dragged me on that stupid cruise. My life is ruined!" With a devastated sob he buried his face in his hands. He was so afraid. Everything he had known, everything he had ever worked for; he could see it all dissolving into nothing.

Balki squinted in pain as his cousin's words cut him to the heart. Larry was right, it was his fault, all of it. If only he had listened. Larry hadn't wanted to go on the trip in the first place, but Balki had insisted. And his cousin would have never went outside during that storm and fallen overboard if Balki hadn't dropped his pills in the toilet. "Do...do you want me to..."

"Balki, just…just…" He shook his head slightly but didn't lift it. "Just go away. I want to be alone right now."

Balki hung his head. He was trying so hard to make Larry feel better but he only seemed to be making things worse. There was one thing he knew he could do. He could get them rescued. It was a risk, sure. But he had to do it. "Okay, cousin. I go away. I'll go get help. You...you just wait here." Balki started toward the beach but after only a few feet he stopped and turned sadly toward the despondent figure that was his best friend. "I'm sorry I cause you so much trouble. I don't mean for this to happen." Larry didn't look up or in any way acknowledge Balki's apology. So with a heavy heart the Mypiot started through the palm grove toward the ocean.

It took several minutes before Larry's head snapped up, Balki's words finally reaching his mind. "Going to get help?" He said aloud, realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. There was only one way Balki could possibly get help. With a horrible sinking feeling Larry leaped to his feet and raced toward the beach, his legs pumping as fast as he could possibly push them. "Balki, no!" As he dodged through the forest of palms he prayed he was not too late.

Balki stood on the edge of the large rock, the end of an outcropping that emerged from the sandy beach and continued several meters into the ocean. He stared intently at the sea before him and that tiny dot on the horizon. The island had to be at least ten miles away. It was true that he had swum many times in the oceans surrounding Mypos but never for such distance. And these currents were unfamiliar to him. He was very afraid.

Balki was content to stay and wait for the rescue that was surely coming. But his cousin was frightened and on the very brink of a nervous breakdown. If they weren't rescued soon he was afraid Larry would snap and completely lose his mind. He couldn't let that happen, especially since this whole mess was his fault. He wouldn't let his cousin suffer for his mistake. Balki was determined to make things right again and the only way he could do that was to get help now.

So with a deep cleansing breath he put his fear in his pocket and prepared to dive.

"Balki, wait!!" Larry bust through the foliage and onto the beach. He splashed into the water stopping when it reached his knees. "Don't GO!!"

At the sound of Larry's plea Balki turned to see his cousin frantically beckoning him back to shore. Hearing the panicked insistence in Larry's voice he started back toward the beach, praying that he wasn't in for another tongue-lashing. But on his third step things went terribly wrong. In his hurry to reach the shore he failed to see the patch of algae. Suddenly his foot slipped and his ankle turned with a sharp 'snap'. His leg shot out from under him and he went crashing down on his side. Pain sliced through his hip and shoulder. Then a sickening 'thunk' rang in his ears as fireworks exploded inside his head.

Larry watched Balki fall in stunned horror. He hit the rock with such force that Larry could hear the impact over the lapping waves.

"Balki!!" His voice rose to a panicked shriek as Balki rolled limply off the black stone and into the ocean. He instantly launched himself into the water. Moments later he dragged the limp, waterlogged body of his cousin onto the beach.

Balki's face was slack. His dark eyes, half open, didn't focus on anything. Blood flowed from a large gash on his left temple, trailing red rivulets down his face. His upper arm, near the shoulder was already beginning to bruise and swell around a painful-looking abrasion.

"Balki!" Larry's voice was high and frantic as he bent over his best friend, patting him gently on the cheek. "Can you hear me, Buddy?" He was trying valiantly to ignore the queasy feeling in his chest and stomach induced by the sight of so much blood.

Balki's eyes flickered for a moment then focused on Larry's face. "Cousin?" He whispered weakly.

"I'm right here, Buddy." Larry assured, shakily taking Balki's hand. "Everything's going to be fine." He swallowed hard, complete panic threatening to take control of his mind.

"I...I'm..." Balki's brows furrowed ever so slightly as if it took major effort to control his speech. He must have hit his head really hard, Larry realized, praying he wasn't seeing signs of a major concussion. "I'm sorry I ruin your life."

Larry opened his mouth to vehemently protest the apology but before he could utter a word Balki's eyes rolled back into his head and closed. A wave of fear crashed through him. He took Balki by both shoulders and shook him briskly. "Balki, wake up! Don't fade on me, Buddy! Do you hear me?! It's not your fault!" He shouted at the top of his voice as if he could order his cousin to consciousness. But Balki stayed completely limp. He gave no response whatever to his cousin's distraught prodding.

Larry ran a violently trembling hand through his tangle of wet curls. This couldn't be happening! There had to be something he could do. He racked his brain, trying to remember the first aid course he had taken in sixth grade.

_A pulse! The first thing you do when someone is unconscious is check their pulse._ He couldn't keep his hands from quivering as he pressed two fingers to Balki's wrist. _Nothing._ No! That couldn't be right! He tried to swallow the huge lump in his throat and moved his fingers to a different place. Still nothing. "Balki, no! Don't do this to me, Buddy. Please!" Out of desperation he grabbed Balki's other arm, hoping to find some sign of life there. But, alas, still no pulse.

"Don't do this!" He shouted again, knowing now it was futile. "This is all my fault! You were right. You're always right! Why don't I ever listen? I am so sorry! Just...please…don't...go…" Finally the panic took complete control. His mind turned to mush. His frantic pleading broke into choking sobs.

This couldn't be happening! He had lost his best friend. No one in his entire life had been as close to him as Balki had become in the short time they had known one another. Neither his parents nor siblings were ever there for him the way his cousin always was. When one of his plans fell apart, as they often did, Balki was always there to pick up the pieces and tell him everything would be okay. He even tolerated Larry's wild mood swings and self-centered tendencies, which had cost him many a friend over the years. Balki was the voice of reason, the conscience that was not afraid to tell him when he was being a jerk and was there afterward to pull him up out of the guilt. He always made Larry feel loved and needed, although deep down he knew he needed Balki much more than Balki needed him.

But that was all over now. Balki was dead. The best friend he had ever had…the_ only_ best friend he ever had was gone and it was all his fault. They wouldn't even be stranded in the first place if he had only stayed in the cabin. Balki had warned him that going out into the storm was dangerous. Why hadn't he listened? Then his cousin had risked his own safety to come to his rescue. Larry knew if Balki hadn't come for him in the dinghy he surely would have drown. Then he saved him again after they crashed on the beach. Twice in as many days! And how had Larry repaid him? With unkind words and a surely attitude. He had blamed Balki for their predicament when he knew very well it was his own fault. Balki wouldn't have run off or even considered taking such a foolish risk as swimming so far if Larry hadn't spoken so harshly. Now…now he would never have a chance to apologize.

As he looked into Balki's lifeless, bloodstained face he realized he was alone. He was one solitary man on a small mound of sand and trees surrounded by an unforgiving sea. He knew there was no way he could survive here all by himself. How could he ever handle the agonizing silence and isolation?

Never in his life had Larry Appleton felt so heartbreakingly guilty, frightened or alone.

All the strength drained from him and he pulled his legs up to his chest and laid his head on his knees. His breathing grew rapid until his chest was heaving like a frightened rabbit's. Each breath was quick, deep and wavering. He knew he was hyperventilating, but the stress was just too much. He couldn't stop and he didn't want to try. A warm giddy feeling engulfed him as the overload of oxygen flooded his brain. He became more and more lightheaded until the entire world floated away.


	13. Troubles by the Score

**13. Troubles by the Score**

Larry sat on the wooden bench and stared down at the green grass at his feet. Mypos was a bright and colorful place and the beauty added a stark contrast to the mood of the gathering. Forlorn looking people milled about in the lovely green pasture where several wooden benches and brightly painted chairs had been set in a semi-circle around a rectangular box. Sheep, goats and several happy dogs roamed freely through the somber crowd.

One scruffy sheepdog came up and nosed his hand, begging for a pat on the head. With a sad sigh he ran a hand over the animal's fur. The dog's ears lowered and it let out a mournful whine as if it could sense his black emotions. It quickly trotted away to find more pleasant company.

He lifted his head slightly and stared at the box before him. It was about six feet long and perhaps two and a half feet wide and it stood on four ornately carved pedestals. The sides of the container were painted with a detailed and colorful pattern that smacked of paisley. Tassels of gold skirted the bottom and the rim. There was no lid. That box held all that was left of his best friend.

A bell sounded and he looked up to see a man standing not far from the casket. He wore a brightly colored vest, like all the other Myposian men he had met in the last few days. He spoke loudly enough so everyone could hear and people began to take their seats.

An older man and woman sat beside Larry. The man was very tall with angular cheeks and a large nose. His dark hair and moustache were just beginning to be peppered with silver. The wrinkles on the old woman's face told him she smiled a lot. But there was no happiness there now. Grief haunted her large dark eyes and it made her look ancient. She looked at him with a deep sadness, took his hand and gave it a firm squeeze. The man reached behind her to touch Larry's shoulder. Everything about them, the way the looked, their voices and small things like mannerisms and gestures reminded him that they were his cousin's parents.

Several people had gathered behind the man who was speaking. Four held musical instruments. There was a wooden flute, an accordion, a tambourine, and a stringed instrument that could have been some kind of harp. The speaker stepped back and the musicians began to play a sad mournful song. Two women and three men began to move to the music. No one sang. No words were needed. The music and the dancers effectively portrayed the sadness and angst that was in the hearts of everyone present.

When the music died and the dancers took their seats Balki's father stood and turned to address the crowd. Larry couldn't understand each word but he knew the oration was the story of his friend's life. The narrative went on for a long time. The man spoke with such feeling and intensity, using very expressive gestures…just like Balki. The older man had tears running down his dark tan cheeks by the time he took a polite bow and sat back down.

Larry assumed that either this was an intermission or the ceremony was over for several people rose from their seats and resumed hushed conversation. Larry swallowed hard and stood himself. With unsure steps and a knot in his chest he approached the brightly decorated container. He choked and hot tears came to his eyes as he looked down at the figure in the box. Balk lay peacefully in his Myposian tuxedo with his arms crossed and some sort of purple flower grasped in his right hand. If it hadn't been for his deathly pale complexion it would look like he was just taking a nap. As if any moment his dark eyes would flicker open and he would look up at Larry with that innocent smile and say: "Good morning, Cousin. How long was I asleep?"

But Larry knew that was never going to happen. Balki wasn't going to wake up again.

His cousin's last words rang over and over in his mind and he knew that they would never go away as long as he lived: "I'm sorry I ruin your life." Larry's earlier harsh rebuke echoed alongside. He had blamed Balki for everything. How could he have made his friend feel so bad? He would give everything he had and more to take those words back.

Suddenly he felt weak and he leaned heavily on the edge of the casket. Tears slid freely down his face. "I'm sorry." He whispered as a sob escaped him.

If only the rescue party had come sooner!

He felt a firm hand on his shoulder but didn't look up. Balki's father had come up behind him. The man spoke slowly and gently but Larry couldn't understand a word he said. He wished he would go away and let him be alone but he kept talking.

Suddenly the world began to dissolve around him. Everything faded; the people, the Myposian landscape, the animals…everything. But the voice, those strange, foreign words still sounded in his ears.

Had he fainted?

Maybe. He was only half conscious, he knew that.

But that voice was still there and it beckoned Larry toward consciousness. He tried to ignore it. He didn't want to be awake. The warm comfort of sleep was much more appealing than the fear and loneliness he knew awaited him on the other side of wakefulness. He could feel warm sunlight on his back and the sounds of birds and water reached his ears. Sand shifted under his feet. Where was he? That voice was still there and it was still speaking Myposian.

Larry's eyes shot open and his head snapped up with a sudden gasp of realization. He was still on the beach, on a deserted island. He had been dreaming. He whirled around and his eyes widened in amazed disbelief. Balki who had been dead only minutes before (or was it hours? How long had he been out of it?) was now struggling to sit up. Balki's eyes were squinted in pain as he held his right hand to his head while his left arm hung limply at his side. He was mumbling in Myposian. The only word Larry was able to catch was 'babasticki'.

"Balki!" Larry shouted in complete wonder. "You're okay!"

Balki flinched at Larry's exclamation as if it was a physical blow. "Oh, po po." He moaned as his hand tightened over his forehead. "Nay volumiki."

"You're okay!" He cried again. This was just too good to be true. He was so happy and so relieved. He didn't care if they were stranded on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere. He didn't care if they were never found. His best friend was alive and that's all that mattered. Larry threw his arms around his cousin in a teary embrace.

At his cousin's touch Balki instantly let out a sharp, unbelievably loud scream.

Larry let go and leaped back, startled by the unexpected reaction. "What, what, what? What's wrong? What did I do?"

For a long moment Balki sat clutching his left arm with his eyes squeezed shut and his face contorted in a pain. When he finally opened them he glared at Larry warningly. "Don' do that."

"I…I'm sorry. I didn't realize..." He winced as he got a good look at Balki's arm. The whole upper part, from just above the elbow clear to his shoulder was swollen and completely black and blue. "Is it broken?"

"Yes."

"Are…are you sure?"

Balki nodded his head and immediately wished he hadn't. "Whoa, baby!" His right hand left his arm to still the throbbing in his head. It didn't work. When he brought his hand away the tips of his fingers were sticky and red. His eyebrows rose slightly at the revelation that he was bleeding.

Larry squinted in sympathy at the sight of his cousin's face. The cut extended from his temple to his cheekbone and was still bleeding, although not as heavily as before. The entire left side of his face was beginning to bruise and his eye was swelling. They needed to clean that before it became infected

Part of him said he needed to get Balki back to their makeshift camp, where there was fresh water and a fire. The other part knew his cousin had a head injury and was hurt badly and was afraid to touch him let alone move him.

The dilemma was quickly resolved as a wave slid up the sand and lapped gently at their feet. The tide was coming in, Larry realized, and they were far below the tide line. He would have to move him. At least far enough up the beach that the water couldn't reach them.

"Come on, Buddy, we need to get back to camp." He realized that his cousin was still a bit dazed and might be unsure on his feet. Larry leaned over, draped Balki's right arm over his shoulders and wrapped a firm hand around his waist. "We're going to stand up now. Okay?"

Balki eyed him uncertainly. "Okay."

With a grunt of strained effort Larry pulled his cousin upright. But the moment both of Balki's feet touched the ground he let out a long pained scream and his left leg collapsed under him. The sudden downward pull nearly threw Larry off balance, but he managed to keep a firm hold on his cousin as he gently lowered him back down.

"What is it?"

"My foot." Balki managed to hiss, though clenched teeth and quick pained breaths.

Larry looked down and took in a quick gasp. Balki's foot was turned in at an odd angle and his ankle was much bigger than it should have been. There was no doubt that it was badly broken. What was he going to do _now_? "Oh, Balki!"

Balki flinched as if he had been slapped at his cousin's unintentionally loud exclamation. Every noise seemed to compound the throbbing in his head. "I'm sorry." He managed to say, taking Larry's words as a rebuke.

"No, no, you didn't do anything." Larry lowered his voice. "I was just wondering how we're going to move you with that ankle."

"Well, you can stop wondering around because were not."

Larry cocked his head, not quite understanding. "What?"

"I'm not getting up again. No way, no where!"

"Balki we have to—"

"Forget it, Cousin. Balki is staying right here."

Another wave reached them. This one was higher than the last, covering Larry's feet. "The tide is coming in." He motioned to the seemingly benign water. "If you just sit here it's going to wash you away." He looked Balki up and down, trying to appraise the situation. "Maybe I can carry you."

Balki held up a warning finger. "Don't…you…touch me."

"If you just let me try…"

"Cousin, no. You pick me up, you toss your back and you drop me like a hot tomato. You're not carrying me and that's vinyl!"

Larry ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He hadn't thought of that. If he threw his back, which happened all too easily anymore, he wouldn't be any good to anyone. But he had to do _something_.

Suddenly his eyes lit up and he snapped his fingers. "I have a plan! I'll be right back." He moved to stand up.

Balki's eyes suddenly grew wide. He grabbed Larry's arm with a painfully firm grip. "Don' leave!"

Larry looked down at his cousin in surprise. He had never seen such a look of desperation on his cousin's face before. It made his stomach tighten. Placing a gentle hand on Balki's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I'll be _right_ back. I promise."

Balki reluctantly let go of his cousin's arm and watched him take off down the beach at a dead run. Pins and needles ran up his spine and he shivered slightly. He was in pain, frightened and although he knew Larry was not far and would be back momentarily, he felt very alone.

He shifted a bit in the wet sand trying to find a position that didn't hurt. But even that small movement sent pain shooting up from his hip and ankle and he allowed himself a small whimper. He cradled his left arm gently, but no matter how he held it, that too refused to give him any relief.

What had he done? Now he would never be able to get help. He could scarcely move let alone swim! He had sunk them in even deeper babasticki than they had been in before. With a simple fall he had effectively dumped every aspect of their very survival on his cousin, who would certainly have difficulty shouldering such a responsibility. Cousin Larry was already having trouble coping with their situation. Now he had the added burden of finding food and taking care of Balki.

The largest wave yet rose up, bringing the warm water swirling around his waist before receding. He bowed his head low. After the mess he'd made he wished the water _would_ come wash him away.

"Balki!" The young immigrant lifted his head to see Larry running towards him, his bare feet slapping the wet sand with each step. The tarp from the boat was rolled up under his arm. Slowing to a stop beside Balki he stood, panting in the now calf deep water. He must have run all the way. "See?" He managed to say between gasps. "I said I'd be right back."

Balki looked at the canvas curiously. "Why you bring that?"

"This is how we're going to move you." Larry explained as he unrolled it directly behind Balki, who tried to turn to see what he was doing but suddenly winced and turned forward again. The cloth was quite large. Even folded in half, as it was, it was about five foot by ten. It floated slightly in the shallow water and he put a foot on it to keep it from washing away.

Larry put a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. "Balki, I need you to move back a couple feet onto this thing. Can you do that or do you want me to help?"

Balki looked up at his cousin, wide-eyed and uncertain. "I…I don't know."

"Here." Larry got down on one knee behind Balki and put both arms around his waist, being very careful not to bump his left arm. As gently as he possibly could he pulled his Balki backwards onto the canvas. Despite his care he felt him take a in a sharp breath and he knew he had hurt him.

Once he had Balki completely onto the tarp he moved back, grabbed two handfuls of the cloth and pulled, easily sliding his cousin up the beach. Balki was lighter than he had expected or maybe it was just the rush of adrenaline giving him an extra boost of strength.

A short time later they reached their makeshift campsite. Larry pulled him back until they were under the trees and out of the direct sunlight. Straightening with a nearly inaudible grunt, he rubbed the small of his back, but stopped when he caught Balki watching him.

"Did you hurt your back?"

"Hurt my back? No. Of course, not. Don't be silly. I'm fine." He lied. Truth be told bending over and pulling his cousin's dead weight for such a long ways had taken its toll on his spine. Although he was quite grateful that it hadn't slipped out of place. Then he would have been in real trouble.

He kneeled down beside Balki, not quite sure what to do next. "How are you doing?'

Balki managed to muster up a rather unconvincing smile. "If it wasn't for the pain I'd be hunky dorky."

Ignoring the half-hearted attempt at humor Larry asked his cousin to lay down and placed a lifejacket under his head. Now what? He wrung his hands together anxiously trying to remember everything he had learned in that first aid class. It seemed like so long ago. He looked Balki's injuries over carefully. His arm was broken and so was his ankle. Both of them needed to be stabilized with a cast or a splint or something. But what could he use?

"Balki, where's your knife?"

Balki looked up at him in alarm. "Why?'

Larry rolled his eyes at whatever Balki had been thinking. "I need it to cut the canvas."

"Oh. It's over there, by the fire."

A short time later he had cleaned the scrape on Balki's arm and managed a crude splint by tying a short piece of palm frond that had been de-leafed to either side of his upper arm with strips of canvas. Another triangular piece of the material served adequately as a sling. Balki had managed bravely through the whole procedure, even though Larry knew it had hurt.

Next he moved to Balki's foot. Even looking at it made him slightly sick. If only had ice or something cold to take the swelling down. He could have sworn it had gotten bigger in just the last few minutes and it was turned in at nearly a ninety-degree angle. He couldn't let it heal like that. And they didn't know when or if help would come. He swallowed hard, knowing what had to be done. He just prayed that what he was about to do was right and he wasn't making things worse. "Balki, I'm sorry. This is going to hurt…a lot." With that short warning he gritted his teeth, braced himself and with one swift jerk and a sickening grinding sound Balki's ankle was pulled straight.

Balki bolted upright with a pained scream that was followed closely by a string of strangled Myposian.

"You okay?" Larry asked lamely, biting his lip in sympathy.

Balki sat forward, head down, every muscle tense. His eyes squinted shut and his teeth clenched in a tight grimace. After a long moment his breathing slowed and he looked up at his cousin with an accusing glare. "Why you didn't tell me you were going do that?"

Larry gave a small shrug. "I thought you might try to stop me."

"Sure as shotgun I would have! Cousin, you're killin' me. And it ain't softly."

"Bite the bullet, Balki, buddy. Be brave."

"Believe me buster, you be bawling like a baby too if your body was as broken and battered as Balki's."

"No." Larry shook his head and gave his cousin a wry smile. "I think I'd be worse."

After he had finished bracing Balki's ankle in the same fashion as his arm, with strips of canvas and palm stems, he grabbed a large bowl-like shell Balki had been messing around with earlier and filled it with water from the stream. He picked up another small piece of canvas, but frowned as he rubbed it between his fingers. The fiber was course and a tad abrasive. He wished there was something softer he could use to tend the cut on his friend's face. Wait a minute. There was! With a swift stroke of the knife he removed his left sleeve.

Balki flinched as he carefully dabbed at his face with the cool wet cloth. The dried blood easily washed away to reveal the wound underneath. It was deeper than he had anticipated and about half an inch wide. Larry swallowed hard, trying valiantly to keep himself from getting dizzy over the sight of the injury.

He knew that they needed to be rescued now more than ever. Balki was in bad need of medical attention. Both his arm and ankle needed to be properly set and Larry had no idea how to even begin such a procedure. This gash on his face needed several stitches or it was likely to become infected. What in the world would he do if that happened?

Balki watched his cousin's face closely as he carefully washed his injury. It was the very picture of worry. That deep sense of regret washed over him again. He could only imagine the emotional trauma he was putting his cousin through. He knew how worried he would be if their roles were reversed and Larry was the one hurt. "Cousin?" He asked quietly.

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

Larry closed his eyes and lowered his head, his face suddenly pained. "Please don't say that, Balki."

"But I make so much more work for you and…"

"It was an accident. I'm just glad you're alive." After a long pause he added: "Besides, I'm the one who should be apologizing. I yelled at you and made you think this whole mess was your fault. Well it's not. None of this is your fault. If anyone should take the blame it's me. I'm the one who went outside during the storm, remember?"

Balki gave an almost imperceptible nod, his face unreadable. After a long silence he said: "Cousin?"

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you're here."

For a late lunch they shared the fish Larry had caught earlier, which had amazingly been overlooked by the seagulls.

Balki's splitting headache had faded over the hours and although his other injuries still gave him a great deal of pain he was acting a bit more like himself. Presently he contented himself by drawing little pictures in the sand with a stick.

He looked up when he caught Larry watching him. The look on his cousin's face both surprised and disturbed him. "Cousin, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Larry quickly looked down as if his hands were suddenly the most interesting things in the world.

"Cousin, your eyes are the windows to your face. Something's wrong. Why you are look at me like that?"

"I still…I just can't believe you're alive!"

"Of course I am." Balki replied. He gave his cousin a light smile but his voice betrayed the pain he still felt. "Don' be ridiculous. Waddaya think I'm gonna be, dead?"

"Well, actually..." Larry nodded slowly, almost sheepishly. "...yes I did. I...I don't understand." Larry shook his head with a mixture of confusion and amazement. "You were dead."

"Uh, Cousin, if I were dead I think I'd be the first one to know it."

"But you had no pulse!" He exclaimed, gesturing erratically. "I checked."

"Are you sure you did it right?" Balki offered.

"Of course I did!" He snapped, a little more harshly than intended. He quickly softened his tone. "I took a first aid course in sixth grade and they taught us how…Here I'll show you." He demonstrated by taking Balki's right hand and placing his first two fingers on the inside of his wrist. Larry's brows came together in a perplexed frown. He moved his fingers a bit and the frown deepened. He let Balki go and tried his own wrist. His jaw dropped slightly and he let out a small, frustrated grunt.

The corner of Balki's mouth twitched as he tried to hide a smirk. "Um, Cousin, I hate to tell you this, but you're doing it wrong."

"Huh?"

"No. See you're putting your fingers up too high, too close to the hand. You not going feel anything like that."

Larry lowered his grip a bit and sure enough he could feel a rhythmic pulse under his skin. He gave one violent shake of his head and pounded a fist on his knee in frustration. He couldn't believe that with such a simple, stupid mistake he had caused himself so much grief. "How could I have been so blind?"

"Don' feel bad. It's an easy error to make. Besides, nobody's inflatable."

Larry brow creased in a perplexed frown and stared at Balki for a long moment. Suddenly his eyes alit with understanding. "Oooh. Perhaps you mean 'infallible'?"

The small fire flickered merrily, creating a small haven of warmth and light in the surrounding night.

Larry couldn't sleep. He just stared at Balki's back, watching the rise and fall of his steady breathing, as if to convince himself that he was still alive. He could not get over how close he had come to losing his friend. The overpowering fear and loneliness that he had felt for those few horrible moments still haunted him. What would he have done if Balki hadn't woke up? Even if he had been rescued, his life would never have been the same.

"You don't have to stay up because of me." Balki said without turning around.

Larry stared quizzically at his cousin's back, wondering how in the world Balki had known he was awake. "I can't sleep." He said honestly.

"Me either." Balki shifted a bit, then rolled over onto his back, letting out a small cry at the pain the movement caused him. Larry moved to help but Balki held up a halting hand. With a grunt of effort he pushed himself to a sitting position, leaning up against the log. He gave a small shrug and a lopsided smile. "Hard to sleep when you're broken."

"I can imagine."

They both sat in silence for a long while, just listening to the night sounds. It was Larry who finally broke the reverie with a small chuckle. "We've got a campfire, the outdoors, bugs and multiple injuries. Now all we need to make our camping trip complete is smores."

Balki cocked his head a bit. "Some more what?"

"Not 'some more' '_smore'_. Don't tell me you've never had a smore before."

The Mypiot shook his head.

"Well, you roast a marshmallow over the fire and put it between a couple of graham crackers and a piece of chocolate. The hot marshmallow melts the chocolate so in the end you get a gooey, sticky sandwich." He smiled a bit. "It's one of the messiest foods out there, but believe me it's worth it. They're best when cooked over a campfire but you can cook them in the microwave too. We'll have to make some when we get home." He forced himself to say 'when' instead of 'if'.

"I would like that."

Another silence descended upon them as both cousins stared into the dancing firelight.

Larry was exhausted. The events and strains of the day had left him physically and emotionally spent. Both his body and mind were crying out for sleep. But he couldn't sleep. Everything kept running over and over in his head; the elation of thinking they were being rescued and then the disappointment as the helicopter flew on without them, the horror of watching Balki fall and the fear and grief when he thought he was gone and the worry he still felt over his cousin's injuries. All these emotions piled on top of one another keeping his mind awake and his muscles tense.

Balki's soft voice brought him to the present. He was singing, which in itself was no surprise, but the song was not the popular pop he usually sang. This song was Myposian. Larry had never heard him sing in his native language before. It was a soft swaying song with a simple melody. The words rhymed pleasantly and although he didn't speak Myposian he knew the meaning. The song radiated love, caring, and assurance. It was a lullaby.

Larry closed his eyes and listened, wondering briefly if the music was for his benefit or Balki's own amusement. He had a strange feeling it was the former. The song caressed him like a mother's kiss, the notes carrying away all his worries and fears. As the tension in his mind faded his body relaxed. A warm, contented feeling washed over him. He leaned back against the tree with a small, contented sigh as the song guided him gently to sleep.


	14. No Place Like Home

**14. No Place Like Home**

A cold night wind whistled over the island, rustling through the palm leaves and stirring up the sand.

Larry shivered himself out of a dreamless sleep. Boy it was cold! He sat up and rubbed his hands briskly over his arms in an attempt to warm them. The fire had died down to a bed of glowing coals.

He looked over to see Balki's quietly slumbering form illuminated by the faint orange light. His breathing was slow and even as he lay on his back, head resting on the edge of his lifejacket. Larry was glad that he had finally fallen asleep. At least he wasn't hurting now.

Larry frowned as he noticed that something dark and wet smeared the lifejacket and the entire left side of Balki's face. He moved closer. With a gentle hand, careful not to wake his cousin, he turned his head so he could get a better look in the faint firelight. In his sleep Balki had managed to reopen the cut on his face and it was now bleeding just as bad or worse than when he had first received the injury. Even though it was quite dark and he could barely see the sight made Larry nauseous.

He turned away and shivered. He would have to do something to stop the bleeding. Balki was in bad enough shape without being weak from blood loss. But he couldn't do anything in the dark.

He stood, moved over to their small pile of driftwood and dropped a piece onto what was left of the fire, causing it to pop and crackle.

Balki's eyes opened and he looked curiously up at Larry. "You're awake already?" He asked in surprise.

Larry gave a small shrug. "I was cold."

"Usually the Song of Princess Riva is good for at least eight hours sleep."

Larry stared at his cousin for a long moment. So the song _had_ been for him. "Well, these aren't exactly normal conditions."

Balki grimaced himself to a sitting position, declining Larry's immediate offer of assistance. At the change in posture he let out a soft moan and brought his hand up to his nose bridge.

"Balki?" Larry asked worriedly.

"That spitting headache is back." He explained weakly. "And this time it brought a sledgehammer. This is worse than being kicked in the head by a yak."

Larry bit his lip in sympathy. With his frequent stress-induced migraines he knew just how debilitating a headache could be. "I'd offer you an aspirin but…" He trailed off with a helpless shrug.

After a long moment Balki spoke up, his voice somber. "Cousin?"

"What?"

"This trip isn't fun anymore."

Larry gave his cousin an odd stare. "It took you this long to come to that conclusion?" His tone was light and sarcastic but deep down Balki's comment bothered him.

He put few more sticks on the fire until it was shining brightly, then he filled the shell full of water, grabbed his detached sleeve and moved over to Balki who gazed at him quizzically. "You're bleeding again." Larry explained at the unasked question.

Balki touched his fingers to left side of his face and examined the red that smeared them with mild interest. "Well I'll be snookered. I thought it had stopped."

"It had." Larry said with a hint of irritation. "And it wouldn't have started again if you hadn't moved around so much."

"I'm sorry."

Larry dipped the cloth in their makeshift bowl and moved to touch it to Balki's face but the light was much brighter now and he could see his cousin's cut, bloodstained face clearly. Suddenly the world started to spin and little green spots popped in and out of his vision. He blinked hard, trying to make them go away.

Balki eyed him with concern. "Cousin…?"

"I'm fine." He said right before a wave of nausea hit him. He managed to stifle a moan as he closed his eyes and tried to ignore his churning stomach. The whole sensation was all too similar to being seasick.

"Cousin, are you alright?" Balki asked in alarm

"I'm fine." He said again, opening his eyes but keeping them fixed on the sand. "I…I just have a little problem with the sight of blood. Well, _that much _blood, at least."

A look of mild confusion crossed Balki's face. "It don't bother you earlier."

"Actually, it did." Larry admitted a little sheepishly. "But I guess I was so worried about you it kinda took back seat. Now that the adrenaline wore off…" His voice trailed off and he gave a little shrug.

After a moment he squared his shoulders, took a deep breath to steel his nerves and lifted his head, ready to try again. The sight still made him lightheaded, but with a determined frown he swallowed the dizziness and managed to run the cool wet cloth gently down his cousin's face.

Balki watched the battle on Larry's face with concern. "Cousin, if it really bothers you don't worry about it. I'm okay. Really. It'll stop by itself soon enough."

Larry shook his head with violent determination. "No. I will _not_ let this get the better of me again!"

Balki fixed him with a curious gaze. "'Again?'"

Larry looked mildly startled at the question as if just realizing what he had said. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it quickly with a resolute frown. His emotional issues were not what was important now.

" 'Again'?" Balki asked a second time, seeing that there was obviously something on his cousin's mind.

Larry sighed resignedly. Balki _had_ asked. "I was twelve." He began as he placed the cloth directly over the cut and with one hand pressed hard, eliciting a pained hiss from Balki. "Sorry, but the pressure will make it stop." He explained before continuing his narrative. "Anyway, Elaine, Gary, Davy and I were out playing in this small patch of woods about half a mile from our house. At eight, Gary was the oldest of the three so I was basically babysitting. Once we crossed the creek they took off ahead of me but they didn't get very far before Elaine tripped. She didn't bounce back up right away like she usually does so I ran over to make sure if she was okay. I'll never forget the look on her face when she looked up at me and said: 'Noogie, I think I need to go home.' Then she held her hand out. She'd sliced it right down the middle on a broken bottle or something. It was bleeding pretty bad."

"Did you take her home?" Balki asked worriedly.

"No. I took one look and fainted. The next thing I remember is waking up on the living room couch with half of the family gathered around. Apparently Wally from the filling station had carried me home."

"Was Elaine okay?"

"She got a couple stitches and was mad because she couldn't play the piano for awhile, but other than that she was fine." He shook his head in frustration. "But that's not the point. I wasn't there for her when she needed me. Every single time someone really needs me I'm useless."

"Now, Cousin that's not true." Balki wagged a finger with the gentle rebuke.

He shook his head, still keeping his hand pressed firmly against his cousin's forehead. "Balki I—"

But the Mypiot didn't let him finish. "I need you, and you're here for me now." Balki's soft voice radiated heartfelt assurance and gratitude.

Larry looked down and saw the warm firelight flickering in Balki's large, dark eyes and he was suddenly irritated at himself. He had let past emotions carry him away again. With a mental resolution to not let it happen again he managed a smile. "You've been looking out for me the past few days. It's about time I returned the favor."

A firm shake snapped Larry awake. He blinked and shielded his eyes from the light that shone all too brightly on his face.

"You alright, pal?" Asked a dark figure behind the flashlight.

For a brief moment he was confused and disoriented. Then realization hit him like a speeding locomotive. He leaped to his feet, elation and relief pounding him like waves. He grabbed the man's hand and pumped it furiously, words spilling from his mouth completely unchecked. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou! I can't tell you how much…I mean we've been stranded here for so…what would we have done if you hadn't…"

"Cousin, you're babbling."

At the sound of his friend's voice he turned abruptly and ran over to where two men had Balki laid out on a stretcher. He kneeled down beside him and took his hand. The Mypiot had a triumphant smile on his bruised face. "See, Cousin? I told you they'd come back for us."

"You were right! You were right!" Larry exclaimed, laughing and crying at the same time.

"You know, Cousin. This is the perfect occasion for the Dance of Joy. But…" He looked with sad resignation at his arm and then back up at Larry. "I don't think I could catch you."

"We'll take a rain check." Larry promised.

As he looked over his cousin's battered condition Larry's elation suddenly morphed into confusion, which quickly switched to irritation. He turned to the closest of their rescuers with a withering glare. The man looked quite startled at the accusation on the Larry's face. "What took you so long?"

...

"One, two, three. Up!"

_Klunk_

"One, two, three. Up!"

_Klunk_

"Larry, are you sure you don't want us to help?"

"I'm fine, Jennifer. I've got a rhythm going. One, two, three. Up!"

_Klunk_

"Cousin, you're going to hurt your back again."

"_I'll_ worry about my back later. _You_ sit still and quit making this harder. One, two three. Up!"

_Klunk_

"This feels like the bumper cars at the state fair. Too much more of this and I'm gonna get my whip lashed."

"Quit complaining. We're almost there. One, two three. Up!"

_Klunk_

"I don't ride in the bumper cars anymore. It messes up my hair."

"See?" The apartment door swung open and Larry entered the room, pushing Balki in a wheelchair. "I told you we'd beat those stairs."

"You were right. Cousin, you're the stair master!" Balki looked up at his cousin from where he sat in the chair. The left side of his face was still black and blue, but the cut that ran down to his cheekbone was sealed with several precise stitches. His arm was cradled in a neat sling and the upper part was strapped in a tight plastic brace. A thick white cast with writing all over it swathed his left foot. Dimitri sat contentedly on his lap.

"Yeah, you didn't even fall or throw your back or anything!" Mary Anne said, dropping one of Larry's suitcases and a plastic grocery bag.

"Thanks for the confidence Mary Anne." Larry slipped the duffle bag off his shoulder and tossed it onto the couch.

"You're welcome." Squeaked the shapely blonde, completely oblivious to Larry's sarcasm.

Larry took Balki's bag-on-a-stick from Jennifer and placed it on the couch along with his duffle bag. "Listen, why don't you stay for awhile? We're going to make smores." He hooked a thumb toward the kitchen.

Mary Ann cocked her head with an expression full of blonde naivety. "Some more what?"

Larry and Jennifer stared at her for a beat before Jennifer said. "We'd love to stay but we have a flight leaving in forty-five minutes and we still have to change." She made a small gesture indicating their casual clothes.

"Oh. Okay." Larry tried to keep the disappointment from his voice. He had been so close to never seeing her again and now he didn't want to let her out of his sight.

"I'm glad you guys are alright." She put a hand on his arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. Larry's whole body tensed and he suddenly felt hot. She stepped a little closer, her face just inches from his. "We were worried sick when we got that phone call."

He braced himself in anticipation. Could this be the kiss he had been waiting for for so long? But she didn't come any closer. She just froze there, so tantalizingly close! Was she waiting for him to make the first move? He couldn't. The fear of rejection was just too great. He could see himself leaning closer to kiss her and getting a slap across the face. At that moment he would have settled for a quick peck on the cheek or forehead. Anything. But alas after a moment she backed off, squeezed his arm again and let go. She turned toward the door and tapped her roommate on the shoulder. "Come on. We've got to go."

"Bye, Balki." Mary Ann leaned over and gave him a soft kiss.

When she pulled back and straightened, Balki let out a contented sigh and said; "Wwoww!"

"You get better, okay?" She smoothed down his hair before following Jennifer to the door. "You know…" She said to Jennifer as they stepped over the threshold. "When we get back I think we should make him some chicken soup."

"Mary Anne, he's got broken bones not a cold. Chicken soup wouldn't help."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt."

Larry stared at the closed door for a long moment, absently rubbing his arm where Jennifer had touched it. Then he let out a resigned sigh, picked up the grocery bag from the floor and headed into the kitchen. He stopped suddenly, looked around him and sighed again, this time with contentment. They were finally home!

"I can't wait 'till my arm is better." Balki remarked wheeling the chair back and forth with his one good foot. "Then we can really have some fun with this thing!" Balki seemed to think that the wheelchair was a toy and one he couldn't make proper use of with his broken arm. "Cousin, would you spin me around again?"

"One ride per day." Larry said absently as he pulled a bag of marshmallows, a box of graham crackers and a couple of Hershey bars out of the grocery bag.

The young immigrant gave a small, discontented sigh and watched his cousin rummage around in the cupboard for something or other.

He flinched suddenly. Then with an annoyed grimace Balki reached his hand up toward the multitude of tiny stitches that now adorned the left side of his face.

"Ah!" Larry warned without even turning around.

Balki pulled his hand down with a quick jerk, startled at being caught.

"How many times have I told you not to scratch that? Am I going to have to strap your hands behind your back?"

"No!" Balki said emphatically, answering the rhetorical question. He was already immobilized enough and it was driving him crazy. Loosing the use of his other hand would be unbearable. "I'll stop."

"If you keep messing with it you'll end up with a big ugly scar there." Larry lectured as he carefully stacked the chocolate and marshmallows onto the crackers, making sure everything was even and well balanced.

"You mean like Inago Montoya, only on one side?" Balki asked, thinking that might not be so bad.

"No. More like the Phantom of the Opera." Larry grinned to himself as he set the plate in the microwave and watched the marshmallows expand. With an analogy like that Balki would surely keep his hands off his face for awhile.

With a small, irritated huff at being scolded for the umpteenth time that day, Balki managed to push himself up out of the chair. He stood precariously on one foot for a moment before hopping over a couple feet and flopping down on the couch.

"Balki!" Larry admonished as he stepped into the living room with a plate of four smores in his hand. "I'm supposed to help you with that!"

"I did it fine myself. I'm not completely decapitated."

Larry frowned as he sat beside his cousin. "Yeah, well if they'd have stopped for us when they flew over the first time you wouldn't be in such a mess."

"But they couldn't stop. They had to get that little girl to a hospital. They told us that, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember." He admitted with a resigned frown. "Here, try one." He held out the plate to Balki who took a smore and examined it for a moment before taking a bite. Larry smiled as the Mypiot's eyes quadrupled in size and a string of melted marshmallow and chocolate stuck to the side of his mouth. "Good?"

"Cousin, this is absitively posolutely one of the best things I have ever tasted!"

"Really?" Larry asked, obviously pleased with himself.

"I didn't know you could cook!"

Larry's face fell.

"I must send this recipe to Mama." Balki exclaimed, taking another bite.

With a small sigh Larry picked one off the plate and leaned back against the couch. "You know, I never thought I'd see this place again." With his smore he indicated their apartment. "It's good to be home."

Balki nodded in agreement. He had already managed to get his hands sticky.

"I can honestly say that was the worst vacation I have ever been on."

"I don't know, Cousin. It wasn't _that_ bad."

Larry turned to his friend with complete shock.

"Except for the painful and life-threatening parts I had fun. Think of all the things we did. I mean, never in my vilest dreams did I think that I would get to go on a cruise in such a beautiful boat. We get to play with the dolphins. I hadn't did that in a long time. We get to sleep on a beautiful beach. And I get everyone to sign my cast." He pointed excitedly to his foot. "See, the doctor sign it. Although you can't read his very well. You sign it, Jennifer sign it and dot her name with a little heart. And look, Mary Anne drew a purple kitty that is saying 'get well'."

"I see." Larry said with a forced smile. Still not seeing his cousin's point.

"And you, think of what you did!"

The smaller man cocked his head curiously. "What did I do?"

"You learned how to catch fish with your hands."

Larry couldn't help but grin at that particular memory. "Yeah. I wish I had a picture of that. Dad will never believe it."

"We could always go up to the lake and try our hands at fishing up there."

"Maybe someday. I don't know about you, buddy, but I've had enough of the outdoors to last me a loooong time."

Balki's eyes lit up. "Oh, I almost forget. While I was in the hospital and you were snoring up a hurricane, I read in one of those magazines about something called 'white water rafting'. It look like fun so I call the number and make us preservations for three months. By then I think I'll be up to it."

Larry's eyes bulged and his jaw dropped in a mixture of anger and disbelief. Before he could utter even one chastising word Balki said:

"Got you!" A huge grin spread across the young immigrant's face and his dark eyes twinkled mischievously. "Cousin's should joke more!"


End file.
